Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 115468 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 577(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115468 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 577(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
What was happening to me? I’d never felt this torn before. The way I felt about Rory was honestly terrifying, and the part of myself concerned with self-preservation said it would be better for everyone if I cut this off now. And yet every time I tried to stay away, I ended up folding.
Part of me wished that test had confirmed she was my sister.
Then again, I had this awful feeling that that wouldn’t have changed anything, even if I didn’t really want to investigate that thought in any further detail.
The flash of my young self, hiding in the stairwell that led to the kitchen and watching from a mirror on the wall while Chef LaCourt hummed and mixed and tossed and whisked, blared brightly in my mind. The way I’d tiptoe away when I heard my father arriving home.
You’ve let things go that you loved before, and you’ll do it again.
Because there’s really no other choice.
I’d told Blakely that I liked being a hero. And it was true. I derived satisfaction from making others happy and proud. But how could I be everyone’s hero when everyone wanted something different from me?
I pulled to a stop, the car idling as I stared at the house I’d arrived at.
Faith’s house.
I barely remembered making the conscious decision to head here. And yet, here I was so some part of my mind had obviously directed my car to this spot. To Rory.
I got out of the car and walked slowly up the path. Maybe I wouldn’t even knock. This was a bad idea. She was probably sleeping anyway. I’d driven here, but that didn’t mean I had to take it any further than that.
“You’re lucky I’m not armed.”
I whirled around to see Rory behind me, wearing jean shorts and a red sparkly tank top. My mouth went dry. Oh. She’d been out. Her legs were long and shiny, and I remembered the feel of them wrapped around my hips. Her hair was flowing over her shoulders and I knew just what it smelled like, even though she was currently too far away for me to catch the scent. She was armed. She was the shrapnel lodged in my skin. She was so beautiful it hurt me.
She tipped her head, watching me with those canary blue eyes I was scared would haunt me for the rest of my life. They’d follow me to work, to sleep, to any rock I tried to burrow under. To the ends of the earth. To Jupiter. London certainly wasn’t safe, nowhere would be. “Are you…okay? You look ill. What are you doing here?”
I put my hands in the pockets of my khakis. “I just…ah, came to wish you happy Independence Day and ah, you know say…Let freedom ring.”
She paused, looking both confused and leery and also somehow slightly amused. “You could have texted that to me. There’s even this cool feature that will produce fireworks when the text is opened. I would have appreciated that. It would have been nice to hear from you.”
“Yeah, I should have. Texted you. Sorry. Work was…” I squinted up at the sky as though looking for more of those fireworks that had lit up the dark earlier. Maybe they’d spell out the words I didn’t seem to be able to find. But no luck. The sky remained dark, the only movement the slow blink of a star. I waited a moment, hoping it was celestial Morse code, but then remembered I didn’t know how to read that anyway. I returned my eyes to her and nodded at her sparkly top. “Did you, ah, celebrate?”
She moved past me, removing a key as she walked. I turned as she stuck it in the lock, my heart thudding in my chest. “I went to Haven’s.”
Haven’s. “Oh, that’s great. That’s good. I’m glad.” She pushed the door open and some kind of panic sluiced in my gut and I pulled in a breath, kicking at the edging that lined Faith’s walkway.
Rory turned, standing in the doorway, the porch light shining down and making light and shadow dance over her face and her body. She crossed her arms under her breasts. “What’s wrong, Gage?”
I blew out a long breath, that spinning taking up again. I had this desperate need to hold onto something, but I didn’t know what.
I’m in love with you. And it doesn’t matter.
Oh, God, no. No. Was that true? It couldn’t be. I needed to go. I needed to figure this out. There was a solution to this. A cure. Someone must have a cure. “Nothing’s wrong. I just…I wanted to see you.”
“Well, here I am.”
I let out a breathy laugh that ended on a sigh. “Yes. There you are.” You’re more than I hoped for, and nothing I expected. And you’re turning me inside out and making everything far too hard when my life’s always been nothing but easy.