Total pages in book: 35
Estimated words: 32732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 164(@200wpm)___ 131(@250wpm)___ 109(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 32732 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 164(@200wpm)___ 131(@250wpm)___ 109(@300wpm)
“Sis, this has gone on long enough,” John said, stepping into the bathroom. I swiped at my damp cheeks and looked up at him. He frowned down at me, concern shining in his eyes. I rarely ever cried, and he knew that. But I was freaking out. “You need to see a doctor.”
I was terrified to see a doctor. What if I was pregnant?
If I was, I didn’t want to know.
“Up,” he told me when I reached forward and flushed the toilet. “You’re going to the doctor.”
I shook my head. “No,” I grumbled. My stomach was still churning, and I had a headache beginning in my temples. “I’m going to bed.”
He shook his head at me. Shitty thing about John was that he was just as stubborn as I was. “Yes, you are. Get up. Put some shoes on your feet.”
I huffed and slowly rose to my feet. “I’m still in my pajamas, John,” I deadpanned. I had on a tank top and a pair of old, raggedy sweatpants that were extremely comfortable, hence why I hadn’t gotten rid of them.
“Don’t care. Shoes. Let’s go.”
I huffed and moved past him into my bedroom, feeling like a child being ordered around as I slid my feet into a pair of sandals and grabbed my sweater up from where I’d dropped it on the end of my bed yesterday. He ran his eyes over me when I emerged from my room and nodded once. “Good enough.” I followed him out to the car. “How late are you, Montana?”
I swallowed thickly. “Four days,” I whispered.
John unexpectedly pulled me into a hug. I sank my teeth into my bottom lip to hold in my tears. “Whatever happens, Montana, I’ve got you, you hear me?”
I nodded against his chest. He dropped a kiss to the top of my head and then opened the passenger door of his car so I could get in.
* * *
I stared down at my lap as the doctor stepped into the room. I was terrified to look up, terrified I’d see the answer written plainly on his face.
“Well?” John impatiently asked before the doctor had even had a chance to sit down. My older brother placed his hand in mine, allowing me to squeeze it for silent support.
“Well, Montana, you’re pregnant.”
I zoned out after that. My ears started ringing. My breathing quickened. My lungs screamed and cried for air.
“Hey! Easy, sis.” John grabbed my face in his hands, his warm, brown eyes locking on mine. “Breathe, little sis. Just breathe. It’s okay.”
My lips trembled. Hot tears streaked down my cheeks. “I can’t be pregnant,” I cried.
John wrapped me up in his arms and cradled the back of my head, holding me to his chest. “I’ve got you,” he whispered. “I’ve got you. You’re going to be okay. You’re not alone.”
Being alone wasn’t my fear.
Being a mom was. And I wasn’t anywhere near ready for this kind of responsibility.
A human would rely on me. A baby would need me to take care of it—feed it, clothe it, provide for it, love it . . . I couldn’t even love myself. How was I expected to love a little baby?
10
Montana
John didn’t head straight home after my appointment. In fact, I didn’t know where in the hell he was going considering this was the way to downtown.
“Where are you taking me?” I muttered. I was exhausted from all the panicking I’d done at the doctor’s office. I couldn’t even sit through an ultrasound today. We had to reschedule it. I just wanted to crawl into bed and go to sleep and pray I woke up with all of this just being a horrendous nightmare.
“You’re going to see Jonah.”
My eyes had slid closed, but at the sound of that, they snapped back open. I lurched forward in my seat, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. “John, no—I can’t—he—”
“Easy,” he soothed, reaching over to grab my hand in his as he slowed down at a light. “He needs to know, Montana. He deserves to know. This is his baby, too.”
I wasn’t ready to face this, much less break this news to someone else.
I shook my head. “How am I meant to tell him this?” I demanded to know. Anger stirred in my gut at this shitty situation I was in, and I focused on it, letting it drive me. Because the rest of the shit? I couldn’t deal with it.
“You tell him straight up, sis. There’s no other way to do it. Jonah’s not going to run in the other direction, either, Montana. He’ll take responsibility for his actions, and he’ll do the right thing.”
Tears burned in my eyes. I blinked them away. I’d gotten attached to Jonah during my first week of detox. He’d been there through every mood swing, every time I got sick. He was there through all the worst parts, and then, he’d just walked away.