Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 38978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 195(@200wpm)___ 156(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 38978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 195(@200wpm)___ 156(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
I shrugged my shoulders; what the fuck could I say? That I wanted her here, but I didn't know what the fuck to do with her?
"We talked some, but nothing's really been resolved." I sounded like a fucking dick. Fuck my life; how did people deal with this cheating shit? I don't understand how every man or woman who found themselves in this predicament didn't end up killing something cause that's how the fuck I feel like I wanted to end something or someone.
"It's understandable you feel that way, son; the trick is to work through the anger to get to a better place."
Fuck I'd said that shit out loud.
"I don't know how to do this, dad. Do you realize I'm the poster boy for douchery? Every human being on the face of the earth has seen this shit."
"That's a tough one, son, but you have to get past that somehow; if you want to salvage any part of your life with Suzette, you're going to have to let some of this go unless you decide to just walk away, start over."
That shit made my heart hurt like fuck a world without Butterfly; how would that be? All kinds of fucked up, I was sure, I couldn't imagine my life without her in it, but I didn't see how I could get past this. Wasn't shit supposed to get better with time? I got fucked on the memo because my shit was now starting to kick in. I needed my man Jack, fuck, that's the only time I didn't feel like a fucking failure when I was ten sheets to the motherfucking wind.
And therein lay the crux of the matter; I felt like I failed, but how was that fair? I didn't do anything wrong, so why was I suffering the consequences? I thought I didn't give a fuck about what people said, but that was easier said than done; no one wanted to look like a chump in front of the whole fucking world. But this was my pops. I could tell him anything.
"I don't know how to give her up, and I don't know how to move forward."
"With time, son, you haven't really had time to sort this thing out as yet. Everything's been in an upheaval; now it’s time to settle down and put on your thinking cap and remember what we talked about."
Yeah, the family legacy of one woman for one man like I wasn't fucked enough already.
"But son, if you forgive her, you can't keep using this to hurt her. You'll have to put it away. She's just as much a victim here as you are. The kids told me what James said." He clarified when I raised my brow.
"Dad, I get what you're saying, but regardless of who was working behind the scenes, she went for it. How am I to know that she won't do this shit again?"
"Because we learn from our mistakes, son, she's a little wiser now, hopefully, and if something like this should happen again, she'd be prepared. Haven't you ever made a mistake, son? Done something you wish you could take back? What's done can't be undone. We either learn to live with it or walk away. Those are your only options.
Well fuck.
CHAPTER 24
Okay, time to think, Suzette. I hit myself on the side of the head as though to knock some sense into myself. I haven't had an unbroken thought since that frantic phone call more than a week ago. Every time I tried to think, I felt a black void trying to suck me in.
I remember leaving the gym, getting that frantic phone call, and then Terry being there.
Why had he been there again?
I couldn't remember now. Things were still a bit hazy.
I felt bile rising up to choke me as I recalled the feel of his lips on mine. The revulsion and fear that consumed me at that moment, it was then I realized that no matter if Gage had been cheating or not, I could not be without him. He was worth fighting for. We were worth fighting for.
Too bad the realization came too late, and with a price, a very hefty price.
James showed up around three; by then, I had left my room to check on Suzette. She'd been asleep curled up in a ball with tear tracks on her face. I stood there gazing at her for the longest time, trying to find the answers, but nothing came. The only thing I knew was that the thought of not having that face beside me for the rest of my life was fucking unbearable. I knew true heartbreak; that shit was real. I actually felt the pain of it breaking inside.
Turning away from her, I headed to the meeting. My whole family was there, everyone except Suzette. I didn't want her sitting in on this, not yet. She was one of the key players here, after all, and no matter what, I had to protect myself. I walked into that room praying for her innocence, hoping that all would be well.