Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 136791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
If anyone deserves happiness, he does.
I'm starting to think maybe I do too. I will never be brave enough to do the things he does. But the day I shot Kaleo, I found a little bit of strength I didn't know I had. Even when the bullet ripped through me, I stood my ground and fought for what mattered to me. I fought for Cade.
I faced a monster…and I won.
I will always miss my mom and Titan. I will always grieve for them, but I know they would want me to be happy. They would want me to have a full life instead of living like a ghost. And I think—no, I know I want that for myself. I think part of me will always feel guilt over the fact that I'm still here and they aren't. I will always struggle to comprehend what happened to them. I'll never be able to face memories of that night without feeling my heart break. For the rest of my life, my birthday will forever be the day my world ended.
But Cade was right. Their murders weren't our fault. What happened to my mom and my brother will never be okay. It never should be. But Cade and I can't keep punishing ourselves for it. We've tried that.
I shove the blanket off my lap and climb from the couch. The healing surgical wounds on my stomach twinge in discomfort, but they don't hurt anymore. They're just an ache, something to remind me that we all have monsters to face. Sometimes, those monsters are ourselves. Other times, they're guys like Kaleo.
In the end, the monsters always lose because people like Cade make sure they do. And sometimes people like me help make sure they lose, too. You just have to find something worth fighting for.
"Where are you going?" he asks me, covering the mouthpiece on his phone.
"Bedroom," I mumble and shoot him a reassuring smile. "I'll be right back."
He watches me carefully for a second and then nods.
I shuffle to the bedroom, shaking my head. He really doesn't like letting me out of his sight. If he could carry me everywhere like he did when I was little, he'd do it without hesitation, but I don't let him. Like I said, I found my own strength. Being with Cade makes me feel powerful, but I'm finally starting to realize I had that power the whole time.
It's a good feeling.
Once I make it to the bedroom, I hesitate for a split second like I always do. I keep expecting to step inside and find Kaleo's body on the floor and his blood all over the walls. But Cade had everything taken care of before I was released. The floors have been stripped and freshly waxed and the walls repainted a deep blue. He even replaced all of the bedroom furniture, saying he didn't want me to have a single reminder of Kaleo left in this room.
He hid all my posters and covered the walls with framed photographs of the two of us together as kids. We smile down from all sides of the room. Sometimes, it's just the two of us smiling and making faces at the camera. Other times, Titan is with us. Every single memory Cade hung on the walls makes my chest ache in the best way possible.
I hurry to the closet and pull it open, smiling when I see his clothes hanging next to mine in the small space. They're all mixed up together like they belong that way. I love seeing them there. Pushing them aside, I reach for the box I've only taken down once in the last seven years…the night Kaleo shot me.
"Crap," I groan when my abdomen throbs painfully, reminding me that I'm not as healed as I like to think I am. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this on my own. The last thing I want to do is end up back in the hospital with a catheter tube between my legs. No part of that was comfortable or fun.
Before I can call for Cade, he's there, wrapping an arm around my waist and gently pulling me backward until I'm flat-footed on the floor. I lean into his hard body and sigh happily, content to be in his arms.
"You're not supposed to be reaching over your head, baby girl," he admonishes me, his voice as gentle as the kiss he presses to my temple. "You're going to hurt yourself."
"I need that box."
"I'll get it," he says and easily plucks the box in question from the shelf.
"Being short is so annoying," I complain when he releases me. "Literally everything I want is over my head. Even the shower caddy is over my head."
"Are you complaining about me washing your hair for you?"
"Nope. Definitely not." I love having him around to take care of me. He's spoiling me rotten, and I love every second of it. But still…being short sucks. Not that Cade would know since he never needs help reaching anything.