Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 83211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83211 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 416(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 277(@300wpm)
“How could any hot-blooded woman not want you, Banks? You’re handsome. You’re built like a brick shithouse. You have your own business and you work hard. And you take old women out to lunch once a week. That’s pretty perfect in my eyes.”
“I don’t take old women to lunch. I take you. Only you.”
She beams, making me laugh again.
“Why can’t you just be my girlfriend?” I ask, teasing her. “You see all my good qualities and none of the bad, and you have your own pension.”
Gloria chuckles. “Because you gotta have kids with those genes, my boy. And this baby factory has been closed for decades—probably since around the time you were born, if not before.”
That puts things in perspective.
“So what’s wrong with this woman?” she asks. “Go on. Tell me.”
“I’m not sure. It’s kind of a mindfuck.”
“Let me help you unfuck it.”
I stare at her.
“I’m the best person around for advice,” she says. “I’ve seen it all, and I’m too old to care enough to lie to you.”
“Excellent points.”
“Spill your guts. Your life is infinitely more interesting than mine.”
I tap my fingers on the table. “She says she doesn’t want a relationship—not just with me, but anyone. She just wants sex.”
“I like her,” Gloria says, impressed.
I chuckle.
“Tell me about her,” she says.
“She’s beautiful,” I say. “Funny. Witty as hell. She’s argumentative, and we bicker just about as much as we don’t, if not more. She’s hardheaded and doesn’t take instructions well. I can guarantee she’s at my house right now fucking with my shit even though I told her not to.”
Gloria smirks.
“What?” I ask.
“All of that and you don’t want to have sex with her?”
“Oh no. I do. I really, really do.”
“And she’s staying at your house and you haven’t done anything?”
I shake my head.
She sighs, grinning. “She’s scared of falling for you. She thinks if she can make it just about sex that it will put boundaries up and keep her safe.”
I nod, letting that sink in.
“And you, my boy, know you could fall for her. You know that if you have sex with her, those boundaries will become obsolete. Because when you love, you love—hence, our standing weekly lunch date.”
Oof. I sit back in my chair and feel the room spin around me.
Although I kind of suspected something along these lines, I hadn’t thought about it in those words. But Gloria makes sense … but could I really fall for Sara? Haven’t I already worked out that she’s not the right fit for me?
You know that if you have sex with her, those boundaries will become obsolete.
I am afraid of that.
My phone buzzes on the table. Grateful for the interruption, I slide it to me.
“I’m going to use the little girl’s room,” Gloria says, getting up.
One of my money transfer apps lights up on the screen.
“That’s weird,” I say, picking up the phone.
Request from *KixxDaddy for the amount of $50.00 for T-ball registration fee, glove, and practice pants.
“What the fuck is this?” I reread it and then pull up my texts.
Me: Did you just request $50 from me?
Dad: It worked!
Me: Were you just experimenting or what?
Dad: No.
Me: I’m confused. I played T-ball twenty years ago.
Dad: I know. I’ll get to the more recent stuff. Had to pick a starting point.
Me: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
Dad: Geez, settle down. I’m not adjusting for inflation.
I switch text chains.
Me: Who taught Dad how to request money?
Jess: Me. Why?
Foxx has silenced notifications.
Me: Because he just requested $50 from me for T-ball fees.
Moss:
Me: It’s funny now. How expensive was hockey that year you wanted to play? Mom still bitches about that.
Maddox: He just requested $100 from me for wrestling in 3rd grade.
Jess: Oops.
Paige: Sucks to be you guys. I don’t have a money app thing.
Moss: $150 for youth hockey. He can’t be serious.
I switch back to Dad.
Me: I’m not paying that. I refuse.
Dad: There’s a 30-day grace period before I start charging interest.
Me: Have you been drinking?
Dad: Rude.
Me: Where’s Mom?
Dad: Do you really want to know?
I switch chats again.
Me: I think something is wrong with Dad.
Moss: Clearly.
Jess: He has to be joking.
Maddox: He can suck it. I’m not paying this.
Me: He told me we have 30 days or he’s charging interest.
Moss: What the hell?
Me: I’m telling Mom.
Jess: That’s the most Banks thing you’ve ever said.
Me:
Gloria sits down with an oomph. “They need better hand soap in there. That smells like shit.”
I side-eye my phone but lock the screen. I can’t deal with them right now.
“So the ladies and I were talking,” she says, “and we think a picture of you, topless, with a rose between your teeth. It’s kind of cheesy, I know, but we’re old, and that’s a classic pose. It should appeal to our targeted demographic for the bachelor auction.”
“How much do you think I’m going to bring in?”