Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 95080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95080 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 475(@200wpm)___ 380(@250wpm)___ 317(@300wpm)
I’d been watching my brother the DEA agent meet Dimah, and it had been fun. They’d circled each other like sharks, but at the same time, having me in common drove them closer. Later I teased Alex about it as the two of us sat together by the pool.
“Maybe Dimah does have a brother,” he conceded.
“You’re being recorded,” I informed him.
“Shut up.”
I chuckled.
Alex said, “I’m sorry Cord’s folks didn’t show up.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “He says they love him but don’t get the gay part.”
Alex scoffed. “Basically, they love themselves more than him. Otherwise they’d find it in their hearts to accept, love, and support their son unconditionally like, say, our father does.”
I smiled at him.
“They love the parts of him they agree with, and that’s bullshit.”
“It is,” I concurred.
“Hopefully, someday, they won’t keep hurting him and will instead accept all the parts of the man that he is. He’s their only child, so with any luck, they’ll come around eventually.”
“I hope so.”
“And if they do, I will try and forgive them for missing this important moment with him right now.”
“You’re not normally the forgiving type,” I reminded him.
“True, but for Cord, I’ll try.”
“You’re a good friend, Alex Brandt.”
“I try to be, and in the meantime, he has us, our family. Now his.”
“Yep.”
He sighed deeply. “Fuck, I’m so glad this worked out.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you and Cord, of course.”
“I got that, but what’re you talking about?”
“I’m just happy, is all.”
I turned in my chair, wanting to see his face. “Speak.”
“Look, I can’t say for sure when it was that he first started loving you, but I will say that he carried it around for a while but kept it to himself. And the absolute restraint he showed while you were with Breckin was really something. I couldn’t have done it. I would have had to come clean.”
“He knew I wouldn’t have believed he cared for me.”
“Because you didn’t trust him.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“But now you do?”
“Yeah, now I do.”
His smile was huge. “I’m glad the part of you that always wanted him finally kicked in.”
I snorted. “I’m not sure that was it.”
He reached out and tousled my hair. “But so you know, one thing you should never concern yourself with, or wonder about, is whether he adores you or worships you or thinks about you or whatever, because there isn’t a guy who could love you more than he does. You take up so much space in his head, and I have seen him carry that shit around, and now it’s time for you to feel that same way about him.”
“I do,” I promised, staring at my brother, who I never thought would be talking to me like he was in that moment. “I love him, and I’ll take care of him, I swear.”
“Good. You’re my brother and he’s my best friend, so this has to work or I’ll be in a world of shit.”
It was all about him, as usual. “Of course.”
“Excellent,” he said, looking very pleased with himself.
“Ask you a question?”
He grunted.
“How come you were okay with me and Cord being together?”
“I don’t get what you mean. I just told you that he’s my best friend and—”
“No, I get it now, but back when we first met.”
“I wasn’t okay with it, not initially,” he confessed. “When he first noticed you, I told him to forget it. I would have put a bullet in him myself if he got anywhere near you.”
I couldn’t keep from chuckling. “Oh yeah?”
His gaze locked with mine, and his tone was flat, serious. “Yeah.”
“So what changed?”
He shrugged. “Cord did. The way he was when it was just the two of us, he became like that with everyone—he got serious. He went from being a guy who didn’t care to a guy who could be counted on.”
“Explain.”
“Well, like, I always knew he was dependable and loyal and all that, but no one else ever saw it, least of all you. He fucked around, never followed through, and nobody trusted him.”
I nodded.
“But then he turned it around. It was time to grow up, so he did.”
Cord’s transformation had been lost on me. I had completely missed it.
“And when I saw him making an effort to be a better guy, him wanting you became an okay thing.”
“You could trust him with your brother.”
“That’s right.”
“I see,” I said with a sigh. “Thank you for explaining.”
“You thought I wasn’t protective.”
“I just wondered.”
“Well, I am. And you know better.”
He was right. I really did.
Six months later, Cord and I were still getting along, my stomach still flipped over when I saw him at the end of the day, and he still held my hand when we went anywhere together. At the moment, we were walking up Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley toward Moe’s Books. I was looking for a gift for Beth for her birthday. She had shared a fondness for Elizabethan poets, so I was going to poke around and see what I could find. I only had an hour to put into my search today, so I’d likely have to come back, as we were supposed to meet Dimah for dinner at a new place he wanted to try.