Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 60418 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 302(@200wpm)___ 242(@250wpm)___ 201(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60418 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 302(@200wpm)___ 242(@250wpm)___ 201(@300wpm)
He grinned at me before saying, “If George does marry Flora, I don’t think he’ll need our help anymore. Maybe he never really did. What I’m trying to say is, if you decided you’d rather live somewhere else, I’d follow you anywhere, too.”
“I actually really want to live in San Francisco. It seems like Casey’s putting down roots there, and I want to stay close to him. I also like being able to visit George, and I’ve made some good friends in the city.”
“Perfect, then we’re staying.” After a pause, he glanced at me and said, “So, I have a request? A proposal? I don’t know what to call it.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“I’m not sure how long you were planning to stay with your friends. But I really want you to move back in with me when we return to San Francisco—not as my roommate, but as my boyfriend.”
I flashed him a huge smile. “I’d love that.”
“Okay, good.” He smiled too, and it lit up his eyes. Then he said, “While we’re on the subject, I’m not sure how long we’ll be able to stay in George’s house. I assume he’ll end up selling it and moving into his girlfriend’s place, and that’ll probably happen fairly soon, at the rate they’re going. So, we should start looking for a place of our own, something we can share with Casey, if he wants that. Apartments are insanely expensive in San Francisco, so I’m not sure what we’ll find. We might end up outside the city, maybe in the East Bay. Would that be okay with you?”
“I’m not picky. I’ll live anywhere, as long as we’re together.”
“You’re such a romantic,” he said. “I never realized it before.”
“No, I’m not. I’m just crazy about you, Eden.”
The sweetest smile spread across his face, and he brought us to a stop and kissed me. Then he murmured, “It’s mutual.”
I searched his eyes, and after a few moments I said, “I want to apologize for some things I’ve done recently.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Yes, I do. The moment things got hard, I tried to run away. Actually, I did that twice. The first time was when you found out I was a sex worker, and I made the snap decision to go back to St. Louis. Then, when Casey showed up here and things got messy, I basically did the same thing—I took off. But I know that’s not the right way to handle things, and I feel awful about it, because it probably hurt you when I tried to bail like that. I want you to know I’m going to try to do better, and to deal with conflicts head-on instead of running from them. I guess I just have a lot to learn about being in my first real relationship.”
“It’s a learning curve for both of us, and I’ve obviously made mistakes, too,” he said. “Even though this isn’t my first, I’m learning how to be in a relationship with you, and that’s totally different than anything that’s come before it.”
“I have to ask, are you having a hard time adjusting to being in a relationship with a man?”
“Actually, no. It’s more a question of learning how you and I work as a couple, as opposed to friends. I know a lot about you as a person, and so little about you as a partner.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I feel like that, too.”
We started walking again, hand-in-hand. The only sounds were the breeze rattling the tall grasses on either side of us, and the low burble of the river. After a while, I said, “I’ve discovered some things about myself over the last few days, including the fact that I’m more insecure than I realized.
“The thing is, I wanted this for such a long time. Now that it’s actually happening, I’m so scared of something going wrong between us, or of making a mistake. I feel like I’m holding a delicate, fragile treasure in my big, clumsy hands, and any minute I’m going to accidentally destroy it.”
He came to a stop again and gathered me in his arms. “This thing we’re building isn’t fragile, Seth. It’s on a rock-solid foundation of friendship and love, and it’s being built to last a lifetime. I totally understand what it’s like to feel insecure, but you need to know I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours, always.”
He sounded so sure, and it helped to quiet that critical voice deep inside me, the one yelling at me to do better, to stop making mistakes, and to try harder, so I’d be good enough for him.
Then he kissed me, and it was tender and perfect. We got lost in it for a long moment, until Eden looked around and smiled. He met my gaze and waited for me to notice what was happening, and finally I exclaimed, “It’s snowing!”