Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Aksel’s expression was unreadable.
Lucien wet his lips, hesitating. He had thanked him. He must go now before people took note of their interaction and started wondering. He usually stayed away from Aksel in such a public setting.
Lucien had started turning away when a hand on his arm stopped him.
“Dance with me.”
Lucien froze.
After a moment, he laughed a little, painfully aware that they were starting to attract curious looks. “You know I don’t dance.”
“Dance with me,” Aksel said again, looking at him steadily.
What was he doing?
While theoretically there was nothing inappropriate about dancing with a member of your pack, this was a terrible idea. Lucien hadn’t danced in more than twenty years. Dancing with Aksel at such a huge social gathering while everyone knew Aksel was looking for a mate would raise more than a few eyebrows. And the truth was, Lucien didn’t trust his body not to betray them. Omegas tended to release pheromones during a dance with a partner that interested them, and everyone with a functioning nose would be able to smell them. If Lucien had been on his old suppressants, it wouldn’t be a concern, but he’d recently changed to weaker suppressants on the advice of his doctor.
With how badly his body yearned for Aksel, his pheromones would almost certainly betray them if they were to dance. It was a terrible idea.
Aksel took his hand in his own. “Dance with me,” he said, stroking Lucien’s palm with his thumb.
Flushing, Lucien glared at him, his hand tingling and his nipples tightening. If Aksel kept this up, they wouldn’t even need to dance for Lucien’s scent to betray the nature of their relationship. Aksel’s friend was right there, for God’s sake. What was Aksel doing?
“All right,” Lucien said, just to avoid making a scene. It didn’t matter that there was a part of him that yearned to be in Aksel’s arms in public. That part of him longed to close the distance and sink his teeth into Aksel’s scent gland, mark him up as his alpha for everyone to see. It was terrifying, how hard it was to resist that urge. He’d known this man since he was a small boy. This was wrong. Wrong to want him as a mate. Wrong to want to publicly claim him. Wrong to want to be bred by him. Wrong to give him moon eyes in front of his friend. Jerome Adams was unlikely to be an idiot.
“Are you crazy?” Lucien said once they reached the dance floor. This early in the evening, there weren’t all that many couples dancing and they attracted a lot of stares. He could see Vagrippa watching them with pursed lips, her face pale. But at least the music was loud enough to let them talk without the risk of being overheard.
“No,” Aksel said, putting a hand on his lower back and pulling him close. “I feel saner than I’ve felt in a long time.”
“Everyone is staring, Aksel.”
“Don’t look at them,” Aksel said, holding his gaze. “They don’t matter. Look at me.”
Lucien did, and his body relaxed as the rest of the world dropped away, leaving nothing but the two of them. There were only those blue eyes, intent and full of fierce affection. He glided across the dance floor in Aksel’s arms, feeling wonderful, worthy, and beautiful—because that was how he felt when Aksel looked at him.
Mine, his heart sang, unable to accept all the reasons why Aksel could never really be his. My Aksel. My alpha.
He knew it was stupid. This dance didn’t change anything. The other night didn’t change anything. Aksel’s kind actions tonight didn’t change anything. All the reasons why they couldn’t be together were still as valid as ever.
“Stop stressing, Luce,” Aksel said. “I can practically hear your thoughts.”
He read him so well that sometimes it scared Lucien. But mostly, it made him feel good. Seen.
“You shouldn’t have wasted your money,” Lucien said.
“It was worth it. He’s still an asshole, but having his public approval will help you be accepted by the other snobbish assholes.”
Lucien smiled wryly. “I know. I already saw that it worked. But…”
“But?”
“It didn’t feel good,” Lucien said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. “I thought it would, that I’d finally feel like I belong, but now I realize that the acceptance of people I don’t respect means nothing.”
Aksel’s dark brows furrowed, his expression somber. “I’m sorry. I thought it would help you.”
“It did,” Lucien said. “In more ways than one. You gave me the closure I didn’t know I needed. I talked to my father and—it helped. I feel like I can finally move on from what happened.”
Aksel’s gaze became piercing. “Can you?” he said, pulling him even closer.
Lucien took a shaky breath, trying to suppress the need running through his veins. It would be so easy to bury his face against his throat and breathe him in, soak up his strength and comfort.