Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 105301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 527(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 527(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
“There must be something we can do.” I hold out my hand to him, relieved when he takes it and allows me to bury my face in his chest. I know his eyes are staring at the mess he’s made so I stroke his back to try and take his mind off it, as a way to soothe him. I’ve never seen him so angry. I’ve never felt him tremble so badly.
“They need a motive…”
“They won’t get one out of what we gave them,” I reason, pulling back and looking at him through my thick lashes. “Regardless of his motive, the fire wasn’t meant to kill me.”
He yanks away from me. “That’s not the point.”
“I don’t even think it was supposed to burn the house down.”
“Are you saying he doesn’t deserve to go to prison?” His tone has deepened dangerously; his eyes glitter with anger. I need to watch what I say next.
“No, I’m saying that… you might have to report him for what happened to you as a boy.” My teeth sink hard into my lower lip.
The horror on his face when he realises what I’m trying to say breaks my heart. “No.”
“But…”
“I said, no.”
He’s gone in an instant, leaving me cold and wanting his heat. I hear the front door slam, shaking the house with the force of it. My leg itches to take the first step after him but the rational part of me knows that going after him now won’t make anything better.
Tears fill my eyes and spill down my cheeks as I get to work on cleaning the kitchen. It has been a long time since he has walked out on me, not since long before Emily was born. Not since before we were almost killed in that horrific fire.
I don’t like it.
It scares me. I like our relationship how it is now; I don’t want things to change. Nathan dotes on us. He loves us. We love him just as much and I can’t do this without him. He’s starting to really become himself. Something this major could set him back.
After cleaning up the glass and disposing of it properly, I lean against the side and inhale a heavy breath. My body is still shaking, confused and sad. I don’t know what to do.
Once I’ve swept up the glass and vacuumed the tiled floor, I slide down the wall and bury my face in my knees. It’s not until I hear Emily begin to witter through the baby monitor that I remember that I actually have responsibilities and, regardless of Nathan’s feelings, so does he.
Gwen: Come home. I won’t talk about it anymore. Not today anyway.
I get no response. I wasn’t expecting one. He needs time and I have faith that he’ll return tomorrow. He has to; I have work at one and he knows how badly I’ll worry if he doesn’t.
Besides, he isn’t the only one who is angry and upset at this revelation.
We did have some warning - the barrister said this was a possibility. Nathan’s father has friends in high places and investments in companies that will bail him out if necessary. Nathan just refused to believe that these professionals would not see through his father and his lies.
It almost makes me want to laugh.
Instead, I head upstairs to check on my babies and when I’m satisfied that they have been untainted by the drama, I crawl into bed and wrap my arms and legs around Nathan’s pillow.
Sleep is as evasive as smoke between my fingertips. I know it’s there but I just can’t get a grasp on it.
What am I going to do? I want to be there for Nathan and I want to respect his wishes but while his father roams free, we and our children won’t ever be safe. This has to be settled. His father has to pay for everything he has done.
I climb out of bed and have a long, hot shower, praying that the heat relaxes my tense muscles. It doesn’t and I climb back into bed, still slightly damp and teary eyed.
Nothing will bring on sleep, nothing but my fiancé. Or the powerful bite of exhaustion.
Gwen: Please come home.
Yet again, no response. I cry my final tear just as exhaustion takes a hold of my wilting body.
“I’m so sorry.” The bed shifts and my hair is pushed to the side by cold fingers, making my heavy eyes lift just enough to see his face coming towards my own. “Forgive me,” he murmurs against my lips before tucking me into his clothed front and wrapping his leg around mine to keep me in place. His arms hold me tight, almost too tight. I don’t know how much time has passed since I finally began to drift. It feels as though I only shut my eyes for a moment before he appeared. I can’t say I’m not relieved.