Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 109783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
Muffled music drifted from downstairs and the sound of Lord Huron told me Mor was home. Lewis had given her a bunch of music to listen to, and it turns out she had more in common with his music tastes than mine.
Suspecting where I’d find my mum, I made two cups of chamomile tea to calm my nerves and wandered upstairs. After knocking on my parents’ bedroom door, I heard Mum call “Come in.”
Inside, I found her in bed on top of the duvet, a paperback in her hand and an empty mug of tea at her side.
She smiled affectionately, her dimples appearing. When I was a kid, I remember asking Santa for dimples like my mum’s for Christmas. Obviously, that was disappointing Christmas morning. Until I saw the electric scooter wrapped in a big pink bow.
Handing Mum a fresh cup, I rounded the bed and got in beside her. She dropped her paperback to slide her arm around me, drawing me into her side.
“You okay?”
Instead of answering right away, I asked, “Why are you in here?”
“Mor is in a mood. Your dad is stressed. And I needed some space from them both. Now, what’s up with you? You look a bit peaky.”
With a heavy exhale, I spent the next twenty minutes telling her everything. About my relationship with Fyfe, confessing my love, his rejection, Cameron, what Fyfe told me this evening, and then Cameron’s disturbing behavior.
“Before I say anything else, you need to tell your father about Cameron. And tell Uncle Mac and Walker.” Uncle Mac gave up his security job, but he used to be head of security at Uncle Lachlan’s estate before Walker took over.
“I doubt he’s dangerous.”
“When people fixate on us, they’re dangerous.”
I turned to look at Mum’s pretty face. Once upon a time, we’d all reaped the consequences of a man fixating on her. I nodded solemnly. “I’ll tell Dad. And Uncle Mac and Walker.”
“And Fyfe?”
“I don’t even know where to start with Fyfe Moray. I mean, I’m right to be pissed off. Right?”
“Men are emotionally constipated sometimes.” Mum grimaced. “Your dad made me so mad when we first started seeing each other. And he hurt me. Deeply.”
I gaped at her in disbelief. “Dad hurt you?”
She nodded, looking down at her lap. “He loved me so much, but because of our age difference, he thought I couldn’t possibly love him back the same way. That I’d grow bored with this ‘simple’ life in the Highlands and leave for an adventure elsewhere.”
“Well, that’s the most patronizing thing I’ve ever heard,” I snapped, indignant on her behalf.
Mum chuckled. “I thought so too at the time. But when I realized how much he loved me, I knew it was just his insecurities talking. It was shocking to me that someone as intelligent and charismatic as your father couldn’t see his own worth.”
Oh my God.
“Are you telling me, I’ve fallen for a man like my dad?”
At my horrified tone, Mum’s whole body shook with laughter.
I playfully smacked her shoulder. “Stop it.”
When her laughter died off, she tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and offered quietly, “Think about it, Eilidh. Your birth mum cheated and it completely blindsided him. When someone betrays you in that way, we can’t help but wonder why. Is the problem within ourselves? Are we good enough? Are we not lovable enough?”
My heart hurt at the thought of Dad ever believing that of himself, and even worse that my birth mother might have made him feel that way. Had I ever made Fyfe feel that way? No. No, I knew I hadn’t. I’d always treated Fyfe like he was someone special to me.
“Fyfe’s situation isn’t a cheating wife. It was a mother who abandoned him, so I reckon that cut is even deeper.”
“You don’t think he just wants me because he’s afraid to be alone with Millie?”
“No.” Mum shook her head. “I think he’s just no longer emotionally constipated. I think Millie showed him he’s capable of being responsible for another human, capable of committing to someone. And maybe even worthy of love.”
“That’s what he said.” I rested my head on her shoulder, aching so badly. “The thing is, his rejection was a brutal hit because I’m still trying to love myself, to be kinder to myself. Perhaps it was foolish to even try to love someone else while I’m still on that journey.”
“Oh, darling, there is no trying or stopping when it comes to love. You just either do or you don’t. It’s not in our control, and it usually happens at the most inconvenient time.”
“What do you think I should do?”
“I think … you need to put you first. And if you need some time to untangle all your feelings, then you take that time. If Fyfe really does love you, he’ll wait for you.”