Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 103719 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103719 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 519(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 346(@300wpm)
“I’m okay,” Daniel said. Medically, that was.
Well, except for the cancahhhh.
Too soon? he thought to himself. Yeah, probably.
Gus did a back-and-forth as he cracked his Coke open. Then he took a drink like he wanted to give either of them the chance to change their mind.
“Well, anyway, I got your bloods back.” Gus went over to the workstation and signed in to the computer. “They look better already. How’s your eating? Your weight is low and I’m thinking we should add some Ensure throughout the day…”
The rest of the doctor-talk drifted away, becoming background music of no interest. Over on her chair, Lydia was nodding intently, still in that forward position, her eyes rapt as she focused on the screen. She was in what Daniel thought of as her uniform, trail shoes, loose Patagonia pants that were the color of a cream-and-sugar coffee, and a turtleneck in a heather gray that really brought out her eyes.
Her mouth was moving as she spoke. Then she licked her lips as if they were dry. Meanwhile, Gus was doing a lot of nodding and pointing to the screen, his blunt finger with its trimmed nail tracing over glowing lines of text and numbers—
Daniel’s first clue that he’d decided to leave was pressure on his mostly numb feet. Looking down, he was surprised to find that he’d shifted off the exam bed—and the next autonomous motion was his right hand going to his left forearm, where it peeled off the clear bandage that was anchoring the IV and took the needle right out of his vein.
He tied the tubing in a knot with his shaking hands in a sloppy fashion. The inefficiency was, as always, galling, but he didn’t want to leave a mess on the floor for Gus or his nursing staff to clean up.
Neither of the other two people in the room noticed him going to vertical, and an uncharitable part of him felt like that was apt. They were so focused on the lab results, they weren’t seeing him anymore, the physician/caregiver equivalent of nose-blindness to some kind of stink.
He thought back to standing with Lydia in the carport, the two of them embracing, coming to terms with shit—and then when they’d told Gus and C.P. what they’d decided. He’d felt like he and Lydia had an accord, like everything that had been a grind had gone smooth again. But that easy street hadn’t lasted and that was cruelest thing about their situation. With time running out, they needed to spend the moments that mattered together.
Truly together. Not as partners in a catastrophe, each brave-facing it and dealing with their truths on their own.
Daniel was all the way to the door, and even opening things up, when the other two got up in a rush and reached for him.
“No,” he said sharply as he took a step back.
Catching his balance on the jamb, he forced his voice to be even. “I’ve got to get out of here. I just—give me a minute.”
“Daniel, let me come with you—”
“I’m sorry,” he said to Lydia with a voice that cracked. “I just—let me clear my head. I don’t want to be a shit, I really don’t. I just… I need to breathe for a minute, ’kay? You listen to everything he has to say and fill me in when we’re back upstairs.”
From inside the exam room, Gus murmured, “Let him go.”
“Take your cane,” Lydia said urgently. “Here.”
She ducked back in. Leaned all the way out again. “Please. Take this.”
He watched from a vast distance as his hand reached forward and locked on to the metal shaft’s hook. Then, before he said something he was going to regret, he nodded at her and walked away. Shuffled away. Limped away.
It was a while before the larger laboratory sank in, all the researchers busy at their stretches of stainless-steel counters, so many white coats and faces hiding behind clear safety glasses, their nitrile-gloved hands reminding him of ads for the Blue Man Group that he’d seen in the New York City subway once.
Glances were discreetly sent his way, and he could feel their disappointment in him.
Or maybe he was dubbing that in.
As he continued along, he assumed he was going for a short wander. That he’d return to the exam room and pull his mind and emotions together. Instead, he found himself all the way down at the elevators.
Well, looked like he was headed back to the house.
When he hit the up button, the doors opened immediately.
Maybe it was a sign.
He stepped in, turned himself around, and punched the button marked “L.” For “Lobby.” When there was a shrill buzzing noise, he couldn’t think of why—
Oh, right.
Fumbling in his back pocket, he took out his swipe card and did the duty with the reader. The doors shut. And up he went.