Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 112069 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112069 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 560(@200wpm)___ 448(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
"Then don't be, Remy," he said softly.
"Don't be what?"
"Ready. Don't be ready to let me go. Because I sure as hell am not ready to let you go."
I stared at him in disbelief. I had to have heard him wrong. "Luca, I—"
"Stay here with me," Luca said, his voice almost harsh. His desperation mirrored what I'd been feeling just moments ago. "Stay with me and we'll figure the rest out."
"I can't," I automatically said. "You live in New York, I live here. You have a son you need to take care of and I… I'm such a fucking mess, Luca. I know you don't like hearing me say that I'm an addict, but I am. That's never going to change. I could never be someone that you could proudly show off to your friends or your family—"
I shook my head as I heard my own words. "Maybe that's not what you want anyway," I said as I looked down at my arms and the track marks that still covered them. "Even if I was capable of having just a physical relationship with you, I don't want to. I think maybe I deserve better than that. I know that doesn't make sense, but I just—"
"I love you, Remy," Luca growled as he gave me a little shake. I lifted my eyes in shock.
"What?" I choked out. But he continued on as if I hadn't interrupted him.
"And you deserve everything. I want to give you everything. If there was a way I could undo that night we first met, I would. If there was a way I could go back and take you home like I should have, I would. There are a million things I would do differently, but I can't regret even for a moment that we found each other again. You're not some secret to be hidden away, Remy. I would be proud to call you my partner, my best friend, my lover… because you are all those things. But more than anything, I want to call you my husband. I love you. Sex or no sex, I love you. New York or here, I love you. Past or no past, I love you. I love you." His declaration was so fierce, so powerful, that there was no room in my soul to doubt him.
"Luca—" I began.
"Just say you’ll stay," he cut in.
"Luca—"
"No, don't do this. Just say you'll stay and we can figure it out, baby. I promise. We’ll be a family, you and me and Gio, and we’ll make sure to see Violet as often as we can. Please, just don't give up on us—"
I ended up slapping my hand over his mouth to silence him. Tears were coasting down my cheeks. "I love you, Luca," I said quickly, just so he wouldn't get the opportunity to interrupt me again. His eyes went wide, almost comically so. The idea that this beautiful, amazing man actually thought it was possible that I didn't have the same feelings for him as he did for me was almost too much to comprehend. I dropped my hand and threw myself into his arms.
"Say it again," he demanded, his breath skimming over the spot where my neck met my shoulder.
"I love you." I would happily say it a thousand times over. Loving him was the easiest thing I'd ever done, and now I was wondering why I'd feared it in the first place.
His mouth sought out mine and I happily kissed him back. He couldn't seem to keep his mouth off me nor I him, and as the disbelief turned to acceptance that he was really mine, it felt like a million pounds being lifted off my shoulders all at once. I laughed for no other reason than I could. He did the same and then we were embracing again. I had no clue how long we stayed there like that, but as I ran my fingers over the back of his neck, I found myself telling him everything about my conversations with Ronan and Dom. He listened without interruption.
When I was finished, he pulled back enough so he could look me in the eye. "I'm so proud of you, baby," he whispered. His eyes roamed over my face and it was like he didn't want to ever stop touching me. I felt the same.
"Where is everybody?" I asked. As happy as I was, I couldn't help but have that little shadow of sadness inside of me. "Did Marilyn and Violet leave?"
Luca shook his head. "My brothers and Marilyn took Violet to the zoo. I was planning on jumping you when you came in the door and begging you not to leave me. I guess I kind of missed the jumping part because I was getting my cell phone out of the car in the garage, but at least I guess I got the begging part right." He winked at me and then kissed me lightly.