Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73930 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Looking down at my lap, my folded hands covering the area between my legs, I say, “I could easily get attached to all of you, and get my heart broken. Garrett’s about to be my boss, so the possibility of a relationship is off the table. You and Trevor are hoping to move away soon for your fire training, and your work may take you anywhere in the state. Duke, I mean … I don’t know. I just know none of us can be together long term, and it will be a lot easier for me if we stop … being intimate now, rather than getting together several times and then having to stop. Does that make sense?”
Next to me, Trevor nods once. “I can see how that makes sense.”
“You’ve been wonderful friends to me — I really appreciate everything you’ve done — and so that we can stay friends, this needs to be a one-time thing.”
“Okay,” Adrian says softly.
“You’ve all been wonderful. You taught me so much, and I’ll never forget tonight. Everything about it was perfect,” I tell them.
Except for the part about it being over.
Aftermath
41
Autumn
I expect things to be awkward the next day, but they’re not. I actually don’t see much of the men, anyway. Garrett goes back home. Trevor and Adrian go out during the day, and Duke spends most of it in his home gym. At night, the three of them have to work at the club.
I consider going to Club Red — only for about a second, and then I realize how torturous it would be to watch Trevor and Adrian strip off their clothes while moving their bodies the way they do on stage. Actually, it was torturous just watching them walk through the house in their basic everyday clothes when they went out.
I spend the day sorting through my belongings, and getting a week’s worth of work clothes ready. I also look at apartment listings and play my guitar for a while out on the back deck. It’s a ho hum kind of day, but I’m grateful to be staying in a safe place, with all of my things out of Lindsey’s reach.
At night, I go to sleep in the guest room before any of the guys come home. It’s comfortable, but lonely, and my body aches for them. The orgasm I manage to give myself is a faint echo of the powerful releases they coaxed out of my body.
I’m restless and mostly still awake when I hear them come in, and I consider going to find them, but I know it’s best if I don’t sleep with them again. A little pain now is better than a lot of pain later, and if this is a little pain, I don’t want to know what a lot even feels like.
Things are awkward, however, when I go into work the next day. Garrett doesn’t avoid me, but the nice easy vibe that always existed between us is missing. Should I have anticipated the possibility that having sex with him could screw up our friendship?
I refuse to allow myself to believe that that’s what’s happening between us, but when he conveniently has a meeting scheduled during the time we usually go to lunch, I feel sick to my stomach and lose my appetite.
During a lunch break where all I do is scroll on my phone, I receive notification that money has been deposited into my account from Lindsey. It’s only half of what Garrett told her she owed me, but I’m encouraged that she’s sent this much so promptly.
When I see Duke for the short period of time our schedules overlap, I ask how I can transfer the money to him to pay him back for the guitar, but he refuses to take it.
“I was glad I could be there to help you when you needed it. Consider it a gift, and forget about it,” he says, the bright white of his shirt making me want to touch his skin to see if it's as warm as it looks.
“I can’t do that. Besides, the fact that we got together right after makes me feel funny about it, like I’m accepting a gift in exchange for sex.”
His look of anger as he cuts me off is almost frightening. “Don’t say that. That’s not what I mean, and I should be able to help you if I want to. You’ll need that money.”
“I’d still like to pay you back, but I will need money for a down payment on a new apartment.”
He’s still frowning when he says, “You can stay here as long as you like. The room is yours.”
As the days pass, I find myself hoping that the men will invite me into their beds, but they don’t. They’re friendly and they spend time with me when we’re home at the same time, but they don’t mention what we shared. To them, it’s as if it never happened, which is heartbreaking.