Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 66267 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66267 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
Not even three full days at that.
Three days and my entire world seems to have lost all its color.
Beauty.
How is that even fucking possible?
Why is that even possible?
All of a sudden, a June bug clumsily lands on the handle to my coffee mug.
No.
No.
If Fate wanted us to work, she would’ve kept my mother as far away from me as possible until her wedding reception. She wouldn’t have literally dropped her on my doorstep to demonstrate to me all the reasons why I can’t stay in Highland while the one that made it worth it was out…being a big sister.
The thing she’s apparently meant to be.
“You know my kids love June bugs,” Adolfo casually comments on a crooked smile. “It’s their favorite part of summer.”
I wanna drag my gaze away from the tiny creature trying to travel the curve of the handle but can’t. “She became my favorite part too…” An all-knowing hum escapes my friend prompting me to clear my throat and redirect my stare to him along with the conversation. “Thanks again for letting me crash at the house for the last couple of nights. And bum around the restaurant.”
“Hey, I will never complain about having an extra hand in running food or picking up dishes,” he happily chuckles. “Or selling desserts. I don’t even remember the last time we sold that many pastelitos de guayaba y queso.”
“Those things sell themselves,” I warmly counter, smile soft and genuine.
“Yeah, well, Maria will be happy to hear that you still love them like you used to.”
June’s concerns about my pal’s sister, a woman I enjoyed for a few weeks in bed and on the canvas before disappearing without a second thought, causes me to uncomfortably shift in my seat.
Did I unintentionally hurt Maria when I left?
Did she feel about me like June?
And if so…when…how…why did she forgive me?
Will the little vixen I left behind at the lake house ever do the same?
“Tuck,” Adolfo cautiously interrupts the swirling colors of confusion painting my mind, “you should know something.”
“What’s that?”
“You are welcomed to stay at the house with me and the family and here at the restaurant for however long you need-”
“Appreciate it.”
“But,” the sternness in his voice is unexpected, “when you’re ready to leave town? I won’t be the one to take you somewhere that helps you do that.”
Perplexity pushes my eyebrows down.
“I already helped you run away from your problems once. I’m not doing it twice.”
“I didn’t run away.” Frustration can’t be kept out of my tone, “I…fucking…just…wandered off.”
“Because you were lost.”
“Not all who wander are lost, Adolfo.”
“True.” He lifts his mug towards his lips with a smug smile. “But you are.”
Appalment pushes me back in my seat.
“You wanna know why you wander, Tuck?”
“Because I enjoy seeing the world.”
“Because you believe it prevents you from actually getting hurt.”
A small twitch of my brow occurs.
“If you have no long-term ties or truly meaningful ones to any individual, you figure – like a moron – that you won’t ever have to suffer that deep scarring sense of loss again. Yet…in doing so – again like a moron – you actually end up enduring something so much fucking worse. You experience a different type of loss. And you know what? Alienating those who manage to love you – the real you not the shallower persona the world encounters – creates the type of pain that no amount of paint or pastels or canvases or walls will ever help heal. That healing,” his neck cranes forward, “can only come from accepting what you’ve been denying for so many years, which is that you are indeed lost Tucker Frost, because being lost in your mind hurts less than knowing exactly where you are and having to deal with the ugly shit life has handed you.”
Any ability to speak vanishes.
“Face the ugly, Tuck.” He prepares to have another sip of his drink. “And learn to embrace the beauty in growth. In change. In forgiveness.” Adolfo indulges in a small slurp. “Once you do that? You’ll finally be free to peacefully wander.”
The June bug on my cup suddenly flutters away, abruptly leaving me as if it was simply there to ensure I listened to his point.
As if it was babysitting me.
Almost exactly like another June Bug I encountered.
Uncertainty trundles around my stomach with so much turbulence I can’t deny its existence.
Maybe this is the point Fate wanted to be acknowledged.
Maybe everything Adolfo just said is what Fate was trying to tell me in a more subtle nature but had to take the direct approach when I tried to veer completely off course.
Maybe that’s why my friend refuses to assist in my departure of this place.
Or why I don’t really wanna leave it.
At least not without my soulmate.
Chapter 19
June
“Name?” the dark-haired security guard at the guest manor door flatly inquires.