Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 106538 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 426(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106538 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 426(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
“Ozzy, it’s fine. If Tia wants to talk, we can talk.”
“Tia doesn’t want to talk; she wants to lecture. There’s a difference,” I say, keeping my back to Tia.
Maren eyes her over my shoulder. I step toward her onto the porch, closing the door behind me.
“Evette told my daughter’s friend’s nosy mom about us? Isn’t there some confidentiality thing that prevents teachers from discussing their private lives with students?” I say.
“I didn’t think to tell her to keep us a secret.” Maren pivots and heads toward her RAV.
“She should have thought about it all on her own.”
“Ozzy, I’m sure it never occurred to her that our relationship is a secret. We’re not having an affair.”
“We’re not going to have anything if Tia decides this is a hill she’s willing to die on.”
Maren turns and crosses her arms, leaning into the driver’s side door. “What would you do if Tia weren’t here? You’d survive.”
“I wouldn’t be working, or at most, I’d be part time to take Lola to school and be there when school got out like I’ve done for the past two years. And when Brynn’s life insurance ran out, I’d have to sell the house and rent something small. And Lola wouldn’t be in therapy because I wouldn’t have insurance or a good-paying job to cover it. And sure, we’d get by, but it wouldn’t feel fair to Lola. So, despite my distaste for Tia, I’m not relishing their not being here to help.”
“Well, it’s summer break now. You have time to figure it out. What if I help you find someone to pick her up after school in the fall—on a bike? What if I help pay for it?”
I shake my head and laugh. “Sounds emasculating. And it’s not a solution if she gets sick.”
“You mean to tell me that Brynn didn’t make more money than you? Pay for more things than you?”
“That’s different. She was my wife and Lola’s mom.”
“And I’m the cat woman you screw.”
“Jesus, Maren. No, I’m not saying that. But we’ve known each other for two seconds, and I think abandoning all reason at this point would be pretty irresponsible. You could decide that dating a guy who only rides a bike isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Then what? Are you going to continue to pay for after-school transportation and childcare? Or will I be on my own? Which is exactly what I’m trying to avoid by not pissing off Tia.”
“You make more out of the bike than I do.”
“Because it’s emasculating too!”
She flinches.
I feel instant regret and release a long sigh. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, stabbing my fingers through my hair. “This is my life, and I hate that I have to remind myself how lucky I am despite the loss. Lola lived. Had she died, I don’t think I would have had the strength or the will to go on. And if Brynn had lived and Lola had died, I think it would have destroyed our marriage because both of us would have been mere shells of ourselves.”
Maren stares at her feet. “Maybe the timing is all wrong for us.”
I grunt. “It’s too late. I can’t fall out of love with you.”
Her gaze lifts to mine.
“What?” I ask when she doesn’t speak.
“They’re just words, Ozzy—three simple words. Yet I’m dying for you to say them together in order.”
I squint. “What do you mean?”
“You told me you never said you didn’t love me. And now you’re telling me you can’t fall out of love with me. And I know what those statements mean. But you haven’t just said it.”
The words sprint to the tip of my tongue, ready to take flight, but I grin instead. “I need something to keep you coming back for more.”
“Even if the timing is wrong?”
“Even if.”
She chews on the inside of her cheek for a few seconds. “Well, I have to go.”
I slide my hands along her cheeks, burying my fingers in her hair. “Be safe.” I kiss the top of her head without regard to Tia, who I know is glued to the window watching us.
“I will,” she whispers. “I love you.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Her hands grip my shirt, tugging it harder than necessary. “Don’t be an ass. Just say it.”
“I did. You wanted it in three words. I gave it to you in three words.”
“Speaking of giving people things. I know what you’re not getting anytime soon,” she murmurs as I duck my head and kiss her neck.
“If you end up leaving town, I’m well aware of what I won’t be getting.” I kiss my way up to her mouth.
She turns her head just as I reach her lips. “Say it.”
“You’re beautiful.” I kiss her cheek.
“Say it.”
“I’m going to miss you.” I kiss her forehead.
“Say it.” She jerks my shirt a little harder.
“We fell in love.” I kiss her nose.