Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 106538 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 426(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106538 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 533(@200wpm)___ 426(@250wpm)___ 355(@300wpm)
“Go. Both of you,” I say through a yawn.
“I’ll stay,” Dad says.
“No. I’m fine. Go. Please.”
They look at each other and then at me. I make a shooing motion with my hand.
“If you’re sure,” Mom says.
“I’m sure. But before you go, can I see your phone again?”
She hands it to me, and I text Ozzy.
Colleen: It’s me. Maren. Before my mom leaves with her phone, I want you to know I love you. And I’m SO sorry I put you and Lola through this kind of hell. I might go home next week. Take all the time you need and hug Lola for me. x Maren
I wait for a minute until the message changes from delivered to read.
He doesn’t reply. I know it should be okay. Yes, he needs time to process. But that doesn’t make it feel okay. That doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Ozzy
“I’m an asshole,” I say to Diego while we sit in lawn chairs, drinking beer and watching Kai and Lola ride scooters up and down the sidewalk.
It’s been five days since Maren came out of her coma.
“You’re human,” he says.
“Humans are assholes.”
Diego chuckles. “Undoubtedly.”
“Tia thinks I need therapy, which is odd coming from her because she’s not a fan of it. So I must be really messed up for her to suggest it.”
“Let me save you some money,” he says. “How did you feel when Maren called you?”
I laugh, shaking my head. “We’re not doing this.”
“Come on, humor me.”
I roll the bottom of the beer bottle on my leg, eyeing Kai’s black hair, blowing like ribbons in the air, just like Lola’s. “I couldn’t breathe.”
“Why?”
I shake my head. Diego is not a therapist. This is stupid. Yet I keep answering him. “Because I felt guilty for putting Lola in a position to get hurt like that again. And I swore I would never do it again once we let Maren go because she wasn’t going to wake up. She’d lost so much blood. They restarted her heart multiple times. She was in a coma for three weeks. We were going to say our goodbyes. End of story.”
“But she didn’t die,” Diego says.
I nod slowly.
“Are you upset that she didn’t die?” he asks in an incredulous tone.
“Of course not,” I mumble. “But how can I risk Lola going through this again?”
“So what are you going to do? Dump her when she gets home? Now that would make you an asshole.”
“Or a good father.”
Diego grunts. “You’ve said it yourself. Lola adores her. How do you think she’ll react to you walking away after all that Maren’s been through?”
“How do you think Maren will react when Lola never wants her to fly again?”
Diego sets his bottle on the ground and laces his hands behind his head. “What makes you think Maren will ever want to get into a plane again?”
“Because it’s in her blood. Like cops who take a bullet or firefighters who get burned, Maren will recover and go back to work.”
“But if she didn’t fly again, would that make a difference for you?”
“Yes. I’d have to deal with two traumatized women instead of one.” I smirk because humor is my escape.
“I know you won’t walk away.”
I glance at him. “How do you know that?”
“It’s the blow job.”
“Fuck you,” I mumble, shoving him until his chair begins to tip over. Diego catches himself while cackling.
When his laughter settles and my grin fades, I blow out a long breath. “I worked on her plane.”
Diego doesn’t look at me; he just slowly shakes his head. “Fuck.”
I nod.
“You know there’s a good chance it had nothing to do with the plane.”
Again, I nod, but I don’t know if I’ve truly convinced myself that it might not be my fault.
I check my watch. “I need to go feed the cat. And Lola wants to make Maren a welcome home cake before she arrives tomorrow.”
“That should be a fun reunion. I can’t imagine anything feeling at all awkward just because you’ve ghosted her since she woke up from a coma.”
“The awkwardness will be short lived. We won’t stay long. Jamie said Maren’s parents will be with her. They’re staying until she’s fully recovered, or at least her mom is.” I wish my confidence matched my words. I am scared out of my mind that everything is my fault. What if the reality is that I’m a bad dad, a shitty boyfriend, and an unreliable mechanic?
“So you’re meeting her parents for the first time after coma ghosting.”
I stand. “Shut up, man.” I chuckle. “And I’ve talked with them on video calls, so it’s not really a first-time introduction.”
“Yeah, but they liked you then. Now they’ll find you unworthy of their daughter. Awkward.”
“Lola will be a good buffer. Everyone loves her.” I toss my empty beer bottle and put on my helmet. “Lola, let’s go.”