Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 82767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
“Sure,” I agreed, and we walked out the back door, cups of tea still in hand, and through the garden to where a path led between the fields. In the distance, I could see them. A woman and a boy. My heart quickened a little. He had grown. I knew he would have grown, but I wasn’t prepared for the height of him, or how he ran around independently. Last time I had seen him he was barely on his feet. Sarah hooked her arm into mine as we walked.
“It is really good to see you, Key,” she said, and I realized I had practically forgotten that anyone had ever called me that old nickname.
“You too,” I sighed.
When we reached the end of the field, Declan looked up and ran to Sarah, who caught him and swung him through the air. I felt a lump catch in my throat.
“Keegan Callahan,” said a voice.
“Mrs. Flynn,” I said. “How are you?”
“I’m well,” she said and nodded at Declan. “This one here keeps me young. I hope you’re doing all right over there in America?”
“I am,” I said.
“I’m glad to hear it. I will leave you two to it,” she said, and slowly made her way up the path we had just come down.
When she was out of earshot, I whistled under my breath. “Times have changed!”
“I told you,” said Sarah, and then stepped close to me with Declan in her arms. “You don’t remember Uncle Key, but he’s a very silly man and you’re never to listen to a word he says. Now come and see my new baby.”
We walked further along the path, and a beautiful dappled mare came trotting up to say hello. We made a fuss over him and talked horses until it was time to give Declan his dinner. Back at the house, we chatted without touching on old times. It was easier to talk about the present. I sat on the floor and played with toy cars with Declan, pushing them back and forth repeatedly.
“You look just like your daddy,” I told him quietly, and he looked at me with his big eyes and then threw a little plastic car at me, giggling in pure toddler joy when it hit me on the chin. I pretended to cry, and he sweetly came over and sat in my lap. Declan then grabbed a nearby children’s book and thrust it into my hands for me to read to him.
Leaving Sarah and Declan was hard, but when I promised to call her, I meant it. Something in me had been terrified to go see them. Terrified that the raw pain that had filled that house the last time I was there would still be there. And now I knew that it wasn’t, I felt less guilty for having healed. Because, I realized, I had healed. The pain wasn’t the same; it wasn’t as visceral. Still, tears came as I drove away. Tears for what could have been, tears of regret for the string of bad choices that had led us to where we were, and tears of relief that things weren’t as bad as they might have been. I realized that I had been carrying around the weight of not knowing how she was, what her life was like, for so long that it had changed me.
When I got back to Bray to pick Effie up, she saw it on my face. But I couldn’t explain, couldn’t get into the details. I didn’t want to be judged or pitied. I sat on the beach with her for ten minutes, and then we headed back to the city just as the light was beginning to fade. I had to get through a dinner with Effie and Mick and his team to discuss the plans for the next day, so I spent the drive back trying to compose myself, trying to get back into work mode and trying to avoid any kind of discussion with Effie. She had already seen too much.
The one thing I could look forward to was seeing Mick. He was the only person who knew how it felt, how so many conflicting emotions could end up canceling one another out and leave you numb. He met us at the hotel when we arrived, whooping and running to me when he saw me, then throwing his arms around me and lifting me clean off the ground. I realized I had been hugged more times in the last twenty-four hours than in a year in Boston. We had only time for a quick shower and a change of clothes before eating. Mick’s team was exactly like him, enthusiastic, energetic, funny. They had everything under control, and I found myself nodding and agreeing with everything everyone said while eating hungrily and trying to ignore the fact that my eyes were getting heavy. I looked at Effie. She was back in her work clothes now, freshly made up and looking just as she did at the office. She answered questions directed at her with polite efficiency and said very little else.