Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92704 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Cam gasped playfully. “You broke our plans and lied to me to get some dick?” He winked. “I’m so proud of you.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle.
Without going into detail—because I wouldn’t betray Carter’s trust like that—I told Cam about my dinner with Carter. How we’d chatted in ways I hadn’t expected, and that he shared some pretty deep stuff with me.
“Then I was waiting with him while we called for Ubers, and we remembered he forgot his jacket in my car. One minute we were looking at each other, and then I just—hell, I mauled the poor guy. It was intense. Like it wasn’t me, yet it was too. Like this part of me I didn’t know was there? That sounds crazy, I know, but it was like something suddenly unlocked inside me and I was so fucking hungry for him, and goddamn, can we forget I said that? This is embarrassing.”
Cam didn’t crack a joke. He didn’t make fun of me or make me feel uncomfortable in any way. “Did you like it?”
I’d fucking loved it. “Yeah.”
“And he liked it?”
“Yes.”
“Then I don’t see the problem. We learn new stuff about ourselves all the time, BB. That’s what life is. You could afford to lose control a little bit…and fuck whatever other men you’ve been with if they haven’t seen that in you so you could explore it. Or maybe that just means Carter is different for you and makes you feel comfortable enough to let a more dominant side out, even if you didn’t know it was there before.”
Was that what it was? I hadn’t felt comfortable enough with other men I’d been with to let loose? To give in and just let my desire lead me? But then, guys I’d been with I’d been dating in some way, and I wasn’t with Carter, so…fuck. I shook my head. Why did I have to overthink every goddamned thing?
“If it felt good, roll with it. Explore it. You know how I feel about shit. I’m the biggest supporter of doing what feels good and experiencing all there is to offer, especially when it comes to sex.”
I’d always envied Cam for that. Hell, initially, he’d only fucked around with a guy because he had a feeling I was gay and wanted to be supportive in some weird-ass way, and that made him realize he was bi. He was mostly with men now, but Cam was an equal-opportunity guy. He loved women too.
“You know me. My head gets in the way. Plus…” I thought about the laughs I’d shared with Carter. The way he’d looked at me when he’d talked about his mom, and what kind of guy he was to care about her the way he did when she had never put him first. And the fact that he’d chosen to share that with me. “It’s crazy, Cam. We’re basically the definition of opposites. He makes me want to pull out my hair sometimes, but then, he makes me feel like someone else too. I tease him and flirt with him and challenge him in ways I’ve never done with anyone else. I still don’t know if I like casual sex, but I think I could very easily start to like him.” If I didn’t already. “And where does that lead us? I’m not setting myself up to get hurt again. Fuck that.” It would kill me if Carter and I started shit up and then I walked in on him on his knees for someone else.
Pictures flashed in my head. Shoving Carter to his knees for me…pushing my cock between those sexy lips of his…making him take it and knowing he wanted me to…
I shook my head, rubbed a hand over my face. What the fuck had that been? I didn’t do that. I always let the other guy lead, I always followed, and I sure wasn’t as wild and animalistic as what I’d shared with Carter or what I’d just envisioned.
“I can’t answer that one for you. That’s something only you can decide. Maybe you’ll realize you like having fun with Carter, no strings attached, because you obviously feel safe with him. Or maybe Carter has feelings for you too. Do you really think Rush ever believed that Linc would settle down? He wanted it. We all saw it, but Linc was Linc, and look at them now.”
That was a really dangerous way to think. I couldn’t let myself start thinking of Carter in terms of anything more than a friend…with whom I became some wild sex fiend.
Damned if a smile didn’t curl my lips at that.
“Someone likes whatever he just thought.”
“This is weird. And I don’t know if I like him, like him. I don’t really know him well enough.” Did I?
“Okay, whatever you say. I have to admit, this is different for you, and I like it. It’s good to see you a little shaken up over someone. Any of those guys you dated over the years? I knew that shit wouldn’t last. I think you have this idea in your head of what you should want, but maybe that’s not what you really do want. But only you can figure that out for yourself. Only you can let go and figure out who Sawyer Burke really is. Start simple. Ask him to go jogging with you.”