Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Kellan gasped. I wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t expected me to admit it or because he didn’t believe it was true. How he couldn’t see I wanted him was beyond me.
“I still want you too,” he said again, without looking at me.
“Fuck.” I rubbed a hand over my face and ignored the voice in my head. “Why do we keep ending up here?”
“Pretty sure we just answered that. The want, remember?” he replied, and I couldn’t help but smile. Kellan was good at making me do that.
I wasn’t sure what made me do it—well, other than the fact that I wanted to, and like I said, Kellan fucked with my brain—but I reached over, grabbed his hand, and twined our fingers together, brushing my thumb over his rain-slicked skin. “I was disappointed when I woke up alone. That’s never happened to me before, Kell. Usually I want to get off and be done, but not this time. Then later, when shit went down with my dad… Fuck, he was a mess, drunk and belligerent, calling me names. I had to arrest him, and when it was over, I wanted to call you and talk to you about it. I don’t know what it is about you that just sort of calms me.”
He inhaled a sharp breath, his chin shaking a bit. “Jesus, Chase. I’m so fucking sorry about your dad. You could have, ya know? Called me. You can always call me. You’re fam—” His word cut off, and I turned, cocking a brow at him.
“I’m family, that’s what you were going to say. That’s what makes things difficult. You and Griff are the only real family I have. I’m the only family you guys have left. I know you both have your friends, and you have Josh, but—”
“It’s different, Chase, and you know it. Josh and me is different from you and me.”
Kellan lifted my hand and kissed it. I wasn’t sure anyone had ever kissed my hand before. It was a strange thing to realize. That, and how much I enjoyed the simple contact.
“We keep this up, and what happens when things go sideways?” I asked him. “I’m not good at letting my feelings get involved. I’m not looking for anything serious. My parents…they loved each other once, but they ended up hating each other, and they were so volatile together. Love hard and fight harder.” I wasn’t risking that shit, especially not with Kellan. Not that he wasn’t worth it, because he was, but what we chanced losing.
“I don’t want to come between you and Griffin.”
And we both knew it would. If Griff knew I was fucking around with Kellan, he’d lose his shit.
“Yeah, I know you don’t. But that doesn’t help us, because I don’t want to lose you either, and we keep finding ourselves here. One time wasn’t enough with you, Kell. Don’t quite know what that means or how to come to terms with it.”
“One time wasn’t enough with you either.” He kissed my hand again, and again. It was so fucking simple, so innocent, but felt intimate too. “We’re friends, right? You said so a few minutes ago.”
“Of course we are.” Did he really think I only cared about him because of Griffin? There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Kellan. Never had been.
“And we’re both adults. We both want each other. Neither of us wants anything serious. Why don’t we just enjoy ourselves? We can keep it between us—no strings, fuck around when we want. We’re allowed to hang out. No one would question that if they saw us together, not even Griff. We keep the benefits part to ourselves.”
I turned to look at him, and he gave me a small smile. “Is that what you want? Friends with benefits?” I was leaving this up to Kellan.
He nodded slowly, and I almost asked him if he was sure, but then a cocky grin kicked at his mouth. “Sugar, I’ve wanted to fuck you since I was eighteen. Obviously, I’m down with it. I haven’t even shown you all my tricks yet.”
My stomach tightened. Fuck, Kellan Caine tied me in all sorts of knots.
“Yeah, yeah, okay. Only not in the Grant’s parking lot.” We laughed. I untwined our fingers and reached out, fingering a lock of his chocolate-colored hair. “Fuck, you are so goddamned sexy.”
Kellan trembled, pink dotting his smooth cheeks. I wanted to fucking devour him, to wreck him in all the best ways. To lose myself in him until I could sate this desire that only seemed to get stronger and stronger.
“You be careful what you say to me, Chase Hawthorne, or I might not be able to stop myself from blowing you in the Grant’s Grocery parking lot.”
That easily, my dick began to chub up again. Kellan had some kind of effect on me that I obviously couldn’t control. “I think you might kill me, you know that? I’m not sure I’m gonna survive this. Impulsive, naughty, stubborn Kellan was hard enough to deny, and now I have gorgeous, confident, sexy Kellan to deal with? I don’t stand a chance.”