Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“I didn’t tell him either. It’s not a big deal.”
But it felt like that to me. I’d always known Chase cared about me, that he spoiled me in some ways, and he’d always been good to me, but this felt like… It felt like more. “Why’d you do that?”
“I don’t know, Kell. I wanted to save that damn rabbit so you wouldn’t be upset, and I knew you’d feel bad if you knew I had to pay for it.”
Oh God, oh God, oh God. My heart was never going to survive loving Chase Hawthorne. This was the Chase that Josh didn’t see, the one I wasn’t sure most people besides me and Griff saw. “I—”
“Don’t make a big deal out of it.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “Thank you—for doing that.”
We went back and forth with stories about each other after that, the rest of them much lighter. As we reminisced about incidents he and Griff had gotten into and stuff that had happened to me, I laughed harder than I had in what felt like forever. I also realized I wasn’t sure there was much Chase didn’t remember about our childhood, and I thought maybe it was because he treasured those memories. That he hadn’t had happy ones outside of our family, and that made my chest ache.
The rain stopped, and we went in to have dessert, but then found ourselves right back on the screened porch, laughing and talking.
Evening turned into night, but we still didn’t move. Chase yawned a few times, as if he hadn’t been getting enough sleep. Because of work? I was curious about the armed-robbery case and wanted to know how it was going, but I knew Chase couldn’t give me much because of legalities and such. Plus, I was sure he didn’t want to talk about that.
Surprisingly, it was Chase who brought it up first. He stretched, saying, “I’m exhausted. With my extra shifts, I didn’t get much sleep this week. Even when I was home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Shit like that doesn’t happen here.”
“Not since my parents,” I found myself saying.
“It’s all I can think about,” Chase admitted. “I know it’s different, but—shit. I’m sure you don’t want to talk about this.”
“No. I don’t mind. I miss them and love them, but it’s been a long time.” Despite how long it had been, Chase went into law enforcement because of them.
“I know they think it was likely someone passing through town, when it came to your parents, not a local.”
“Yes. And they were robbed walking to their car at night. This was a convenience store at a gas station.”
“Whoever hit the store must have known their routine. The timing was too perfect,” Chase added. “I don’t like it. Not here. Not in our town, ya know? I already hate that we couldn’t solve your parents’ murder, and now I’m back and this happens.”
He was so sweet, and I didn’t know if he even realized it. “There is no we when it comes to Mom and Dad, Chase. You weren’t an officer at that time. You didn’t fail them or Griff. You didn’t let them down.”
“Us.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You said them, like you weren’t included. You need to say us, Kell. You, Griff, and your mom and dad. Don’t leave yourself out.”
My heart swelled so big, I wasn’t sure my chest would be able to contain it. “You didn’t let us down,” I amended softly. My eyes suddenly got teary. I hadn’t cried over my parents in a lot of years, but in that moment, I missed them…and I loved Chase even more. He was nothing but a big, beating heart, even though he’d spent a lot of his life with his getting bruised.
“Sometimes I wonder if they would be proud of me. If they’d think I’ve done well or if they would be disappointed. Griff derailed his life for me, and then I didn’t go to college, the way they wanted for both of us.”
“Hey,” Chase said, and when I didn’t respond, added, “Look at me.”
It was impossible to deny him much of anything, but especially when he spoke to me in that deep, commanding voice of his. It had the power to wrap around me, make me turn my head, and face him. “They would be proud of you. Who fucking gives a shit if you went to some fancy school or not? You’re an artist, a good one. You’re doing what you love. You’re sharing your talent. I promise you, they’d be proud of you.”
What about the rest of it? I wanted to ask. The men and the mistakes and everything else?
“Nothing, Kell. There’s nothing you have done or would ever do that would cause them to not be proud of you, do you hear me?”
“Yes,” I answered. He said it with such conviction that I believed him.