Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84227 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
The truth of how much I wanted him, how much I liked spending time with him, slammed into my chest with such intensity, I could hardly breathe.
“Bec, listen.” I reached over and put a hand on her wrist as she was about to start the car. “I might be making an ass of myself with assumptions right now, but I don’t feel right not telling you—I’m seeing someone.” The words came out easily and felt true. I was seeing someone. I was seeing Kellan.
“Oh. Well, I don’t know why I didn’t expect that. I’m sorry for making assumptions myself. It’s serious?”
My pulse sped up, and I saw Kellan drop his head back and laugh. Damned if I didn’t smile. “I, um…probably not. There are a million reasons why it wouldn’t work, and my own feelings are all jumbled up. Not quite sure what’s going on, but I don’t feel right being with anyone else.”
She smiled, leaned over, and kissed my cheek. “You’re a good man, Chase Hawthorne. I hope you know that.”
I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d think that if she knew I was going behind Griff’s back with Kellan. Still, I smiled. “Thank you. I’d appreciate it if we could keep this between us.”
“No problem.” She started the car. “Put your seat belt on. I’ll take you home even if you don’t put out.” Becca winked, and I laughed.
It felt good to have her as a friend again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Kellan
Josh slept the whole ride home the next day, the fucker. We’d had a blast together, but eventually the night was over. I’d turned down the guy who wanted to hook up with me, but Josh hadn’t.
Fucking Chase Hawthorne. It was all his fault. I went to sleep with blue balls while listening to Josh having sex in the next room, and all I wanted was to be with Chase.
It was ridiculous.
Josh apparently hadn’t gotten much sleep last night because he couldn’t keep his eyes open, and now I was not only stabby with Chase, but with Josh too.
I pulled up in front of my house and shook my friend roughly.
Josh jerked awake. “What the fuck.”
“I’m home.” We’d taken Josh’s car, and I was the one stuck driving it.
“You didn’t want to go to my place?”
“No, I wanted to come home. I’m mad at you.”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re mad because I got laid and you didn’t. That was your fault. If you’re only friends with benefits, you should be able to fuck other people if you wanted. If you can’t, then you sure as shit should be calling it more than friends with bennies.”
He had a point there, but one I didn’t want to think about. Ignoring him, I got out of the car and tried to walk into the house, but Josh was out too, hugging me before I could walk away. “Tell him how you feel,” he whispered.
God, I wished I could, but that wasn’t even a possibility. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not what we agreed on? Because he won’t feel the same? And even if he did, he wouldn’t risk his friendship with Griff, and I wouldn’t expect him to.”
“Then he’s not worthy of you, Kell. You’ve never seen yourself through honest eyes. You’re worth more than loving someone who is just getting sex from you. And if Griff is more important than you, then Chase can fuck right off. Tell him. How you. Feel. And if he’s not on the same page, walk away.”
It wasn’t the first time I’d heard something like that from Josh, and each time I did, it wormed its way deeper inside me. Because I knew he was right. Because I knew I wouldn’t survive it if I kept doing this.
But I didn’t want to lose Chase either. Not when I’d just gotten him after a lifetime of want.
“I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all I ask.” He kissed my forehead, and I handed him his keys. “Were you planning on getting your bag out of my car or just running away from me?”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Asshole.”
“What did I do?”
We went back to his car, and Josh handed me my bag.
When I got inside, Griffin was sitting at the kitchen table with his laptop and a cup of coffee. He looked up at me and smiled. “You have fun with Josh?”
“Yes, Dad.”
Griff shook his head as I walked over and began making a cup of coffee. “All I did was ask if you had a good night. I wasn’t acting like your dad.”
“It’s the way you say things sometimes. Like you’re checking up on me. I can’t explain it.”
Once I had my coffee doctored, I sat at the table with him. “But yes, I had fun with Josh.”
Griff chuckled. “It seems like you guys have been spending even more time together lately. Either that, or you’ve been with someone else a whole lot. Are you and Josh seeing each other? Or you and someone else?”