Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 73963 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73963 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 247(@300wpm)
“I am almost sure that you will meet this one,” he said to her.
The child clapped her hands together and squealed in delight. “And truly she looks like a princess?”
“I would say any princess would pale in comparison to Miss Bathurst’s beauty,” he replied.
I took a step back then. So many questions swirling in my head that I couldn’t pick a singular one to ponder. How did one ponder any of this? Slowly, I eased away until I could safely walk back in the direction in which I had come.
Such familiarity… it seemed odd for Lord Ashington to speak that way to a mere neighbor’s child or even a distant relative.
The tone of their voices, the trust in the girl’s voice was clear, the affection in Lord Ashington’s was equally so. My head spun even more as I waked quickly back to the house, no longer taken with the splendor of nature that surrounded me. For there was one explanation to what I had just overheard, yet how could that be? Lord Ashington would not be able to keep such a secret… or could he? Did he wield that much power?
I didn’t stop moving until I was in the room given to me and I closed the door firmly behind me. Then I stood there and let the most obvious explanation play out in my head.
Lord Ashington had a child and a mistress. He was indeed searching for a wife to cover that up. I sank down on the settee and stared blankly at the wall in front of me. He had brought me here as if to interview my family. This was not to court me because he wasn’t looking for a love match. He was looking for a position to fill. He needed a countess that would accept his child and his lover.
To be fair, I had not come to London in search of a love match. Not at all. He knew of this too because I had been rather clear on the subject, had I not? Lord Ashington was aware that I was in need of a wealthy husband to provide for my sister and my mother. I needed someone that could afford the medical procedures Whitney required and he needed a wife willing to look the other way. He must think he had found the perfect prospect in me. How could he not? I wasn’t a silly debutante full of silly hopes to be a countess. Rank meant little to me. He had realized this and he had pounced on it.
My chest stung and I felt a heaviness in my stomach. I had allowed myself to like Lord Ashington. Possibly care for him and believe there might be something for us in the future. He had charmed me and I had been his fool. For a moment, he had me believe that I might have something akin to what my aunt and uncle have. It had been foolish of me to believe it possible. Especially with a man as powerful as Lord Ashington.
This wasn’t heartbreak, for I wasn’t silly enough to fancy myself in love. It was simply, yet again, the realization I was never someone’s choice for the reasons I wanted to be. Nicholas only needed me if I were a pawn to hurt his brother. Lord Ashington only wanted me if I were the perfect wife who turned my head to his secret family. My mother only wanted me because I was her only hope for financial security. Then, of course, I had never been wanted by my father. He hadn’t found use in my existence at all. I shut out memories of him quickly. Dwelling on my father’s lack of love was pointless.
Reaching up, I wiped the tears that had decided to roll down my cheeks, be as unwanted as they were. I would not let this get to me. I had been blinded by all the flash that came with Lord Ashington and missed the other signs. I had allowed myself to trust and I hadn’t even realized it. My guard had slipped so easily. That would not happen again. I was sure of it. I was smarter now and I had learned a lesson.
The fact remained, I needed to marry well for my family’s sake and I would do so, but I wasn’t sure I could accept a secret family. Lord Ashington clearly loved the child and I respected that. He hadn’t ignored his daughter, if that was indeed who she was, and he took care of her. I assumed he equally took care of her mother as well.
I knew my aunt and uncle shared a connection most in London society did not. They truly loved one another. My uncle didn’t keep a mistress. Did I have the luxury of waiting until I found a man that would love me and need only me? I thought of Whitney lying in her bedroom and the pain one day’s travel caused her. I knew that each day that passed made the hopes of the procedure restoring her leg completely, more slim.