Total pages in book: 158
Estimated words: 156392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 782(@200wpm)___ 626(@250wpm)___ 521(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 156392 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 782(@200wpm)___ 626(@250wpm)___ 521(@300wpm)
But the images of her strangling herself with the sheets in that goddamn dark hospital room haunt me.
I’d never put her in that place again.
Never.
I run a hand down my face and release a long sigh, then smile bitterly.
There was a day when I thought I’d get this obsession out of my system and move on with my life, but I only managed to get so attached to my wife that nausea fills my throat at the thought of losing her.
My feet come to a halt when I find Ava at the top of the stairs. She’s wearing a soft off-white silk gown and her long blonde hair frames her face like a halo.
She looks like my own fucking angel.
Broken wings and all.
Her face is passive, no emotion showing through as she stares at me, both hands behind her back.
Usually, I’d touch her throat to feel her pulse—it’s the surest way to know whether or not she’s in a fugue state. If it’s low, she’s out of it. If it’s pumping hard and strong, she’s all right.
For a while, at least.
But since I shouldn’t be coming in contact with her, I turn to leave as I reach for my phone to text Sam.
“Why can’t you look at me?” she asks in a brittle voice, her words haunting in the silence.
“It’s not that.” I stop but don’t face her. No matter how precious it is to hear her voice lately. She’s barely talked if at all in the past several weeks.
“What is it, then? Why is it that even now, you don’t look at me? Do you find me unsightly?”
I whirl around and curse under my breath as a tear clings to her lashes and spills down her cheek. “Never.”
“Then why have you been avoiding me?” She sniffles. “I haven’t seen you in a month! And before that, I didn’t see you for weeks on end. This has been happening since you discharged me from the hospital. If you’re repulsed by my episodes and suicide attempt, tell me so to my face. Don’t just disappear and leave me anxious and paranoid.”
“I am not repulsed. I’d never be repulsed by you.”
“You never consummated our marriage.” Her words end in a sniffle before she whispers, “You…never treated me like your wife.”
“You told me not to touch you.”
“On our wedding night! Because I was scared and confused. I didn’t mean the entirety of our marriage.” She steps closer.
I step back.
I can’t touch her.
If I do, I won’t stop. I’ll fuck her so hard and rough, she won’t be able to walk for days.
No one can accuse me of being a saint, but I think I should be rewarded the position for abstaining since the night I murdered Oliver.
But I have my reasons. One, my face triggers her.
Two. The idea of taking advantage of her lethargic mental state where she’s not lucid enough to consent or feel every inch of me leaves a rancid taste at the back of my throat.
So I’ll remain a fucking monk until she gets better.
“You don’t even want to touch me.” Tears cascade down her cheeks. “Why? Why can’t you see me, Eli?”
I stare at her glittering eyes that resemble a whirling storm. “I do see you. More than anything or anyone.”
“Liar!” she yells. “Lies! Tell me the truth! Say you don’t want to touch me because you think about replacing me with a normal woman.”
“Never.”
“Stop lying to me!” She lets her hands fall to either side of her and that’s when I see the huge kitchen knife she’s holding.
Fucking hell!
“What do you plan to do with that, Ava?” I ask with a calm I don’t feel.
She points the knife in my direction. “Let me go or I’ll stab you.”
“I told you. The day where you’re not my wife does not exist.”
Her lips tremble. “You think I can’t hurt you because I had a crush on you?”
“On the contrary, I think you would exactly because of that.”
“Give me my freedom back and you can do whatever you want with the women lining up to be with you.”
“No.”
“I will kill you.”
“Do it.” I take a step toward her. “That’s the only way you’ll be free of me.”
“Don’t come any closer!”
I reach for the knife, but she wields it sporadically, her eyes half-closed. A sickening stabbing sound fills my ears as pain explodes in my lower abdomen.
A soft gasp echoes in the air and Ava releases the knife, leaving it wedged in my abdomen. Her wide eyes follow the stream of blood as it soaks my white shirt and drips onto the wooden floor.
“Oh my God…” She comes closer, her hand reached out for me, then steps back again. Fresh tears fall harder as she shakes her head. “I d-didn’t mean to… I o-only wanted to threaten y-you… Oh God….”
“I’m f-fine…” I strain, touching the wound.