Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 103637 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 518(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 345(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103637 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 518(@200wpm)___ 415(@250wpm)___ 345(@300wpm)
The club had taught Mike to be ruthless, because the people they sometimes dealt with had no inhibitions. Keeping Arden close would have put his life at serious risk, and Mike couldn’t have that no matter how much his heart selfishly longed to make the boy his. But he’d rather bleed on the inside than see his boy become a casualty of his family’s lifestyle.
Yes, he desired Arden more than anyone, but he cared for him even more.
“You’re too good to me,” Arden said with a small smile that pushed invisible needles through Mike’s ribcage. He was so close Mike could smell the jasmine on him, and if he didn’t pull away, something might happen. Something that would chip at Mike’s resolve.
“Let’s go,” he said and put on fresh gloves, so he wouldn’t leave any prints on the way out.
His bottle-green Dodge was parked behind Luke’s home, since a neighbor could’ve noticed an unfamiliar vehicle, but even once they settled in the front seats, adrenaline refused to settle and kept buzzing in Mike’s veins with each inhale of Arden’s perfume. It was dark. Quiet. Only the two of them and the cooling corpse in the house next door. Yet the air felt so dense in Mike’s lungs it might as well have been jelly.
“I will need to eventually leave. You know that, right?” Arden said out of the blue, hunched in his seat so Mike couldn’t see his face.
Mike swallowed, trying to discern some plants and the outline of the barbeque in front of the hood, but the tall fence blocked the moonlight and made it difficult.
He didn’t want to think about Arden leaving at all. It made sense, of course, because the boy couldn’t put his life on hold forever, but something deep inside Mike refused to accept that, regardless of what he knew was right for him. “I suppose.”
The thought of someone else, someone who could hurt Arden, putting their hands on the sweet, trusting little guttermind made Mike’s blood boil. So it made sense Arden would have to move, because otherwise Mike would find it hard to contain his jealousy. He wasn’t even sure if it was fear for Arden or the fear that he’d shatter if something happened to his precious boy. Was he selfless or selfish?
Arden gave a low exhale. “A few hours ago, I thought I’d do anything to stay even one day longer, but it’s prolonging the agony of it all, isn’t it? Kaley said I can move back in with her.”
Mike clenched his teeth, his insides twisting as if there was a parasite eating him from the inside. “I—ah… I will be sad to see you go,” he said, twisting his fingers together.
Understatement of the fucking century.
“I know I could never be what Leah was to you, I can see it—”
“This isn’t about Leah,” Mike said, squirming in the seat so he faced Arden, whose pretty face remained in the shadow with the exception of one glinting eye. “I loved her so much. I still remember her, but she has nothing to do with the feelings I have for you.”
Arden turned to him with a deep sigh. “I need to leave while I still have a heart.”
Mike swallowed hard and reached out to grab Arden’s hand. His heart ached with need, but confessing how deep his emotions ran would have been selfish, so he kept them in and just kissed the smooth hand before curling his face against it.
“I understand.”
Arden licked his lips, his pupils wide in the dark. “But if I’m leaving anyway, and no one needs to know… would it be so bad if we got close one more time?” He shifted in the seat, and the air in the car turned from jelly into dense caramel—sweet but somewhat bitter at the same time.
Mike’s body felt heavy, hot, and he trailed kisses down Arden’s forearm, to the warmth of his elbow, up his arm. Their eyes met in the dark, and the need that pushed him to come here in the first place now drove him forward, until his lips pressed against Arden’s.
“I’ll take all I can get, baby.”
Arden opened his lips as if he’d been waiting for this forever, leaning over the gearshift to grasp at Mike’s T-shirt. Pain speared Mike’s heart the same way it had a week back, when he’d selfishly decided to ‘heal’ Arden with sex. It had been so heartbreaking to make love knowing it would never happen again. This time, they’d both be aware of it at least and share the pain.
Mike would have only memories left after this. Three wonderful months of sweetness and self-discovery kept forever at the back of his mind.
“Back?” he whispered, massaging Arden’s neck with his palm.
Arden nodded, eager to be Mike’s kitten one last time. He crawled through the gap between the seats, but Mike would be better off moving in a more conventional way and swiftly left the vehicle. He yearned to touch Arden again. The week that passed since their last kiss felt like a lifetime, and he wanted to be the center of Arden’s universe again, even if just for a moment.