Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 112244 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 561(@200wpm)___ 449(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112244 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 561(@200wpm)___ 449(@250wpm)___ 374(@300wpm)
I stalked down the hall toward the elevator and jabbed the button angrily. My stomach was still a bit queasy with anxiety, but the annoyance from the interaction with Hux was enough to temper it and calm my breathing.
The man couldn’t tell me that I was capable and brilliant one minute and then lose his shit like I was a precious, fragile vase one misbehaving teenager away from crashing into a million pieces on the ground the next. It made me feel like I couldn’t tell him about my fears or moments of weakness without him taking them on.
I didn’t need a partner who’d coddle me, who’d keep me in my safe little lair forever, hiding from the world. I needed one who’d help me step out into the light and face whatever challenges life threw at me—and all the anxieties and awkwardness they brought—by my side.
Maybe I wasn’t trained by Champion Security, maybe I wasn’t a world-renowned, life-saving doctor like everyone in my family, but I was trained in self-defense, and no one knew their way around a Horn device better than I did.
I could get this data. And I would.
As the elevator doors opened, my Horn buzzed with a message.
Anomaly451: Babe?
I gritted my teeth and typed a response.
HogDocKev: On my way.
I slipped it back into my pocket and stepped into the elevator. The faint jazzy instrumental version of The Girl from Ipanema seemed at odds with the seriousness of the situation. When I exited the elevator two floors below, my phone buzzed.
Hux: I’m sorry.
Hux: I really do love you.
I couldn’t not reply. Not when I loved him too. I stood outside the elevator and pecked out a message.
Me: You have shitty timing. That must be why you can’t ever harvest a damned greenberry before it gets stolen.
The three dots danced for a few long moments.
Hux: That was a low blow.
Me: Kinda busy right now, baby.
Hux: I know. Have fun storming the castle, Pip.
I grinned and felt the familiar affection I always felt when Hux used that phrase.
I knocked on the door to Linus Dixon’s room. Just as he was opening the door, my entire world paused, came crashing down.
Hux wasn’t the one who used that phrase.
SmittyKitty was.
20
HUX
I realized what I’d done the minute my finger hit the Send key. The blood drained from my head so fast I felt like I was going to tip over.
I could only hope that Kev was too nervous to notice my fatal error.
“Fuck,” I breathed, quickly typing another message.
Me: I can explain.
It was too late. Kev’s voice came over the surveillance speakers. “Hi. Sorry I’m late.”
“Not late, precious,” Linus purred. “Right on time.”
Listening to a man sweet-talk my Kevin would have been excruciating under any circumstances, but this was nearly intolerable. I stood up and turned toward the window, trying to ignore what was happening floors below me, only to turn again and stomp toward the door, ready to pull the plug on the whole mission and tear Kev away from Linus bodily.
“Sit your ass down, Marine,” Champ snapped at me.
I glared at him but stomped back to Riggs and took a seat beside him anyway. I forced myself to look at the camera feed on the monitor and told myself to be a fucking professional.
Still, when Linus gave Kev a hug, I closed my eyes.
The fear I’d felt a few minutes ago when Kev and I were in the bedroom hadn’t subsided. If anything, it had intensified with every passing second. I’d never known pure panic like this in my entire life. Not when my friends had been kidnapped, not when their partners had been threatened, not when I’d had a gun held to my head one time long ago by a Russian guy who’d turned out to be double-crossing us. Always, always I’d held myself a little bit remote. Aloof. Studying the data, making the calls. Compartmentalizing and following the training I kept preaching to Kev about.
But it turned out training meant fuck-all when the one person you’d finally let yourself love wholly and completely was walking his ass into a murderer’s hotel room… and compartmentalizing was fucking impossible when you knew that you and your relationship were part of the reason your lover was putting himself on the line.
Having faith in Kev wasn’t the problem—I believed in him completely, and he’d proven himself time and time again, despite his fear. But fucked-up shit happened on ops all the time, and loving Kev meant that I couldn’t distance myself from life. Love had cracked me open, and now I was vulnerable.
How the fuck did people in love manage to go through life feeling so powerless? How could they stand it?
“So glad you’re here. I thought maybe you’d run into another friend downstairs and changed your mind,” Linus continued.
“No, I… I was looking forward to having some time alone with you. I’m not all that great in big crowds.”