Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 70518 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 70518 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 353(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
She frowned. “You know I didn’t understand a word of that.”
I nodded, shaking my head. “It is difficult to say those words in English. What you are to me…what you’ve come to mean to me is not easy to translate.”
“There’s a really easy phrase you can use,” she whispered.
Oh, hell.
She wanted me to tell her that I loved her.
And I wanted to. More than anything.
“Lucy.” I pulled her closer, so her body was resting against mine. “I know what you want. What you need. But it’s not me. Don’t you see what I am?”
“I do.” She rested her cheek against my chest. “I see exactly who you are. The man who came for me, putting himself at great personal risk. The man who would have killed for me. The man who got arrested protecting me. The strongest, bravest man I’ve ever known.”
I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight as I squeezed my eyes shut. I loved this woman more than anything or anyone. It gutted me that she’d seen me lose control. How could she want to be with a man who could turn violent like that? I didn’t understand it, and more than that, I didn’t want it for her. She deserved better.
“My love…” I kissed the top of her head.
“So you do love me!” She didn’t move but her voice was laced with humor.
“Of course.” I reached out to lift her chin with two fingers. “Since the first time I kissed you.”
She smiled tremulously. “Me too.”
“But…” I took a deep breath. “I am not what you need. You need someone you aren’t afraid of. Someone who will fill your life with light and happiness and all the wonderful things you deserve. Me, I am darkness. Violence. Brutality.”
“Seriously?” She took a step back, shaking her head. “Let’s see if I can address that nonsense you just spouted. Darkness? That would be a woman who caught her boyfriend doing something both illegal and immoral, and instead of fighting for what was right, she ran away and hid. Violence? That would be having an ex who sends thugs to beat you up and instead beat up on a couple of elderly men you befriended. Brutality? How about being kidnapped, tied up, beaten, and traumatized by your ex and his friends? I just faced all that! How’s that for dating a man that I’m not, in fact, afraid of?” She glared at me.
“What are you saying, Lucy?” I asked slowly. She’d never looked more beautiful than she did right now, her chest heaving and her blue eyes brighter than I’d ever seen them. God, I loved this woman. How could I keep trying to push her away?
“You’re exasperating,” she said in a voice laced with frustration. “Has anyone ever told you that?”
I grimaced. “I don’t know what that means, so maybe?”
Instead of continuing to be annoyed, she laughed. “It means you’re maddening and stubborn, but that’s not the point.”
“What is the point?”
“That I love you. That I think you love me too. And together, we can cancel out all that darkness until there’s light again.”
Once again, we stared at each other.
“You are not…afraid of me?”
“Afraid of you? The only time I’m truly not afraid is when I’m with you.”
“What happens if one day we decide to have children? What if they see who I am?” It nearly broke me to say that out loud.
“I hope they do,” she whispered. “I can only dream of having a little boy who’s strong and gentle and kind while simultaneously protective and loving. Just like his father.”
Tears stung my eyes.
No one had ever talked about me being a father. Much less a good one. A loving one.
I didn’t even remember my own, so I’d always figured I wouldn’t have any kids.
And once again, Lucy was changing everything I thought I knew about myself.
“Lucy. Sweetheart.” I blindly reached for her, tugging her against my chest as a dam of emotion seemed to burst out of me.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried.
Hell, I couldn’t remember the last time I cared about something enough to cry.
I’d cry for Lucy, though.
I’d do anything for her.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Lucy
I held on to Kon for all I was worth, still afraid he could slip away from me at any moment.
“You aren’t leaving,” he said, kissing my temple.
It was a statement, not a question. But I understood because I felt the same way about him. I’d come over here to tell him he wasn’t giving up on us, not to ask him not to, so I couldn’t blame him for doing the same with me.
“No,” I said softly.
“But if I get traded and I have to leave…” He cleared the emotion from his throat. “Will you come with me?”
Vulnerability swirled in his dark eyes. How could anyone think this man was stoic? Now that I loved him, I saw Kon for who he truly was—a man who felt deeply, even if it was hard for him to express it sometimes.