Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 83379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Then we just sat on the swing, staring out at the moon, not saying anything more, and hell, it felt…good. Like maybe I had a confidant now.
I glanced down at the phone at the time. Christ, we had been out here an hour already. “Guess we should head back to bed before the sun comes up.”
“Shit, you’re right.” Julian stood up and stretched, taking all the warmth with him. “Hey, thanks for looking out for me. I’m sorry I ruined your sleep.”
“I’m not sorry,” I replied, and there was another long moment of staring.
Julian stepped backward toward the door, then turned. “Well, good night.”
After he walked inside, I stayed a bit longer, trying to make rhyme or reason of my confusing thoughts about Julian. As well as my attraction.
11
Julian
It was Tuesday after lunch, and I was about to walk back to the silo, where I’d begun to sketch out a floor plan, when the activity over at the paddock caught my attention. Kerry was near the fence, watching Ainsley, who was standing at her horse’s flank with a woman I’d never seen before. My feet naturally pulled me toward them to figure out what was up, even though it was none of my business.
Except last night, I’d overheard Sienna telling Kerry about a new rescue horse that was dropped off with George, and I’d admit I was curious about him, so maybe I could ask Kerry. Not that I was any more comfortable around these animals, but watching them from behind a fence created just the distance I needed. And rescues in particular piqued my interest. What was their story?
Kerry’s elbows were resting on the top tier of the wooden slats, and he made quite the picture. Those jeans hugged his ass just right, the muscle shirt showed off his sun-kissed biceps, and the damp tendrils of his tawny hair beneath the cowboy hat made me want to reach out and touch them, to see if they were soft or wiry. I wished I could shake my attraction to Kerry, but it seemed to only get stronger with each passing day.
It didn’t help sleeping in the room next to him with only the bathroom doors between us. Every time I heard the toilet flush or shower turn on, I held my breath, wishing and not wishing at the same time that my wildest fantasies might come to fruition. It would be a disaster if they actually did, which was why I needed to keep showing restraint.
I could feel Hamlet on my heels as I walked the length of the fence toward Kerry, who seemed too engrossed in Ainsley to notice.
Neither one of us had mentioned the time we’d shared on the porch swing the other night. I had woken in a cold sweat and couldn’t easily shake the troubling dream, so I’d headed out the door to walk the property, careful not to wander too far in one direction and get lost, which would’ve sucked. But I supposed I would’ve either ended up on the road or on the Carmichaels’ property, which would’ve been embarrassing had it not been the dead of night. Normally, I was pretty good with directions, but I’d been too shaken to think straight, and it was getting to the point where I was considering an extra check-in with my social worker from the VA about it. She thought the farm would be good for me, that it would help me relax enough to finally feel settled. I wasn’t sure about all that, but the change of pace had been good, though it’d done nothing to dissuade the dreams.
Speaking of dreams, having Kerry waiting for me on the porch when I returned was pretty surreal. And then to admit he’d heard me in the throes of terror made embarrassment flush my cheeks, as well as guilt that I’d probably woken him up a time or two without even realizing it. But we’d become friendly during our milking mornings in the barn—who’d have guessed I’d ever use that phrase—and something reassured me he’d keep my confession safe.
Besides, the stuff he’d shared about his coming out was eye-opening.
Had Sienna caught Kerry watching gay porn on his computer?
Damn, that must’ve been so painful for both of them. Mom had always wondered if Sienna ever had any sort of inkling about Kerry, since they’d known each other most of their lives. And maybe both of them had ignored it, hoping it would eventually be resolved.
Fuck, what an ordeal, and the agony in Kerry’s eyes was palpable.
Kerry’s eyes… They were a hazel color bordering on gold, and I’d only discovered it because of the marathon staring contest between us that night. Damn, the man was so handsome and sexy, and feeling the weight of his thigh resting beside mine was…making me crazy reliving it every other minute. Thing was, had he been uncomfortable, he would’ve moved away, right? So I could only guess he was fighting the same attraction and had no clue what to do about it either.