Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 83379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83379 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
And last night I’d spotted Julian and Ainsley on the porch, sharing a word-search book. I stood at the screen door undetected for a long minute, watching them, until Sienna came up behind me to ask what I was doing. I wanted to say, Watching two people I adore, but that definitely wouldn’t fly. She’d be shocked and confused, which only made more guilt filter in.
“Enjoying our daughter’s smile,” I’d replied instead.
“It is pretty special,” she’d said, nudging my shoulder.
Today Sienna had taken Ainsley on some afternoon errands, which left Julian and me to our own devices. As we came around a bend at the base of a hill, I waited for him to catch up before climbing the incline to a scenic area that would showcase our entire property. It wasn’t much—only about a quarter the size of the ranch—but it was all mine, and I felt a sense of satisfaction in that.
“This is a pretty view,” he said, looking out at the horizon.
I shrugged. “It honestly never gets old.”
“How far does the ranch extend?”
I pointed in the distance. “You see that mountain ridge?”
“Holy crap, seriously? That’s impressive.”
“Yeah, it is,” I admitted. “The land was passed down from my great-grandfather, so my family has been in the cattle trade for a long time.”
I was proud to be part of the Carmichael family. They just weren’t so proud of me, and honestly, I wasn’t that impressed with myself either. Except maybe the part where I finally came clean and was trying to live my truth. But sneaking around with Julian didn’t exactly help.
So I kept telling myself that I was only trying to snatch a bit of happiness anywhere I could find it. Besides, we weren’t hurting anyone. Were we…?
“My dad would’ve liked this,” Julian said in a reverent tone as he looked west to the rolling pastures. “I mean, he was a city guy through and through. But he also loved the idea of working with his hands, so he’d enjoy hearing about the silo plans.”
I reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “I bet he would be proud of you.”
“I hope so.” His eyes grew a bit misty, and I allowed him his moment of quiet, not pushing for conversation, until he turned to me with a crooked smile. “So, what’s next?”
“Follow me.” I took off toward the decline with him on my heels. When we got back to level ground, we rode across a large field that we’d considered cultivating into crops or additional pasture for the cows.
We raced a little without being too reckless, and I fell back, letting him win.
When he looked back, the smile on his face made my heart stutter. Fuck, I might’ve already been a goner for Julian—or maybe the idea of him. We were living a fantasy right now on strung-together stolen moments. It couldn’t possibly be anything more real than that. So I should content myself with enjoying the rest of the afternoon.
“Here it is,” I said as we came upon a decent-sized natural pond that George and I had reinforced with a new filtration system as well as clay walls so it wouldn’t cave in. “Told you we had our very own.”
The truth was, the pond was originally part of the ranch, but when I took over my acres of land, I wanted this included in the deal. It was my pond in a way, the place I would wander off to think. And Mom helped convince Dad it was a fair idea, not that he cared about some random pond on his property. But at that point he was being stubborn about everything.
The ranch property line was just beyond the three large cottonwood trees behind us and acted like a barrier of sorts. Or at least I saw it that way—the division between their land and mine. And I had become fiercely protective of it, much like I had my own heart where my family was concerned.
When it got unbearably hot, we came here with Ainsley to cool off in the water, and as soon as we got off the ATVs, that was exactly what we did—toed off our boots and dangled our feet in the water.
“Damn, that feels good,” Julian said. “It’s not the Hamptons or the ocean, but so what? I love it.”
I laughed. “There’s also not a crowd of strangers around us.”
“No argument there.” He splashed some water with his hand. “You should be proud too—of the farm. It’s pretty here.”
I nodded. “I’m perfectly fine growing old here.”
He stared at me, like he hadn’t considered such a proposition. He looked a bit melancholy but also sort of nostalgic, and I couldn’t imagine what he could possibly be thinking.
“What happens as you and Sienna go forward?” he asked, then seemed to reconsider his question. “I don’t want to overstep.”