Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100750 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 504(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
“Brutal.”
“Look, you know how I feel. You waited for this dude. If he messes up, he deserves whatever comes his way. I’ll remind you of what you told me: communication is key.”
“It is, and he lied.”
“So, get him on the lying part and help him figure out the rest. Just tell him, no more secrets.”
“He’s here—I’ll call you back.”
Grayson approached the bench where she sat. Instead of sitting down, he cupped her cheek and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was tender but spoke volumes. “I love you,” he said as he sat down next to her. She never took her eyes off him.
“Of all the places, why here?”
Reid shrugged and found herself moving closer to him when he placed his arm behind her. “I don’t know. I was in the park, heard laughter, and came over. I’ve been people-watching.”
“Anything interesting?”
“Not really. I guess I thought if I watched the other parents with their kids, I’d be able to understand what you’ve told me.”
“And do you?”
She looked into his eyes and shook her head. “No, and I’m sorry for that. I think your situation is unique. You were given this gift of life, and with that came a lot of changes. Not only physically but personally as well. I can’t help but wonder—if you knew you were getting a new heart and had gone through the required therapy beforehand, would this still be a thing?”
“I don’t see how it wouldn’t be,” he told her. “I’ve come to terms with my own mortality. At first, yeah, I was angry, scared, and felt unworthy. But this feeling, it didn’t start right away. Or maybe it did, and I chalked it up to those jabs of pain the doc said I’d get. The best I can liken it to is being homesick or going on a long vacation and being eager to get home. Those little girls are home, in the sense it’s what my heart needs to heal. It’s a testament to the type of man and father he was, who I want to be. For all I know, they need it too. I looked up those heart bears or whatever they’re called. I could do that for them eventually. Give them back a piece of their father.”
“You make it sound like you intend to be a part of their lives, Grayson.”
“I do,” he told her. “And I’m hoping you’ll be with me.”
She shook her head and looked off into the distance.
“Reid, will you talk to me, please?”
Her head turned instantly, and her eyes glared. “Like you talked to me about all of this before you acted? Before you stopped to consider how I’d feel?”
“I—this isn’t about you, it’s about—”
“It’s about us, Grayson,” she said, pointing between them. “We are supposed to be doing all of this together, remember? Because before it was you and it was me, and then you promised me things, and now you’re . . .” She trailed off and wiped angrily at her wet cheeks.
“I’m what?”
Reid couldn’t look at him. Not now. “You’re pushing me away. Giving me these excuses, and I fear they’re not going to stop, that you’ll come up with something else in a few months, and we’ll be right back to where we are now—me not trusting you fully—and I hate that feeling, Grayson.” She looked at him and pointed. “You’ve put these thoughts into my head, when I thought everything was good, that we were solid, and now I feel like I’m on the outside, crumbling because you have these other feelings. Feelings I’m afraid you’re going to act on, and then what?”
“Sully, I love you. More than I even know how to describe,” he told her. “These feelings I have, they’re in addition to what I feel for you. I want you to share in this journey with me, to be there and learn as I go. This isn’t something I want to exclude you from. But if I don’t try to figure them out, I’m going to be sad. This thing keeping me alive yearns for those little girls, Reid. I don’t know how to shut that off.”
They sat there for a long time, saying nothing. Each wiping away at their own fallen tears. A ball rolled toward them, and Reid watched it while Grayson bent and picked it up. He handed it back to the little boy who’d come running after it, and he received a toothy thank-you. Grayson was kind, always had been. Part of this made sense, but she couldn’t wrap her mind around it. Not without thinking she would lose in the end.
She finally broke the silence between them. “I need time.”
“Away from me?” he said, his voice cracking.
Taking time away from him would be the smart thing. Reid shook her head. “No, not from you, but from whatever happened in Boston. I can’t jump in with both feet, not yet, at least, and maybe never. I need you to respect my stance on this.”