Total pages in book: 12
Estimated words: 11299 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 56(@200wpm)___ 45(@250wpm)___ 38(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 11299 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 56(@200wpm)___ 45(@250wpm)___ 38(@300wpm)
I slowly bring my gaze back to hers. “I’m not thinking about any of that, Cam.”
Her watery gaze bores into mine. “You’re not?”
“Not at all,” I say softly, lacing our fingers together. “I was always told how wrong it is, and how only sluts and whore get them because they’re out there fucking everything, but that’s not the case at all. We took the precautions we were supposed to, and thankfully, you do have a choice. My life wouldn’t change, I’d pay monthly, and my time would be given to you and the baby, but everything would change for you. So, I get it, and I support you.”
Her lip wobbles. “Thank you.”
“Of course, Cameron. And if you change your mind, I’ll support you then too.”
“I know,” she says. When she looks up at me, her chocolate-brown eyes are drowning in her tears. “I don’t know if you’d want to, but could you go with me?”
Once more, I’m unable to catch my breath. “I fly out Sunday. Maybe I can get it changed. I’m not sure. The Adlers paid for my flight, and I don’t know if I want to tell them.”
She shakes her head violently. “No, don’t. I don’t want it getting back to Evan,” she says, speaking of Mrs. Adler’s son. “I haven’t even told Callie yet.”
“Are you going to?”
“Yeah, I need someone to go with me.”
“It should be me,” I say, guilt flooding me.
“It’s okay. Just please don’t tell anyone. I’m so embarrassed that this has happened, and I don’t want it getting back to Coach, or anyone, really.” Ah, okay. That makes sense for why she doesn’t want Evan to know. He works for the gymnastics team she’s on. That’s how he and Callie met. She leans her head into my shoulder and whispers, “I’m scared.”
I let go of her hand and pull her closer as her body shakes with sobs. “I know, I am too. But like you said, it’s for the best.”
Or at least, I think it is.
Chapter Three
Benson
“You seem super distracted tonight, Benny. Everything okay?”
I don’t look at Elli as she drives me back on campus. I didn’t study at all when I got home, nor did Cameron. We went back to my room at the hockey house and just lay in bed. We didn’t talk about the pregnancy or even what we were feeling. We just lay there. Silent.
I’m unsure how I feel about the whole thing. A part of me is sad, but then another part of me is relieved. I’m also battling the guilt. I looked into changing my flights, but I don’t have the money to do so. Also, I’d have to explain to my parents why I’m coming later, and then I’d have to tell my coach and Elli since I’m supposed to start training Tuesday.
I just don’t know what to do, and all the emotions are riding me hard. I guess I should have talked more about it with Cameron since we are both going through the same thing. But I didn’t get the feeling she wanted to talk about it. I sure don’t know what to say to make her feel better, and I think she’s dealing with a lot of guilt right now. Her parents aren’t happy, and I get that. I know my parents wouldn’t be. They’d want me to talk her out of it, but I can’t. It’s not my body. Not my choice. Even if it were, I think I would make the same choice.
Cameron is right; we’re young, and we have a lot of things going on that we’ve worked hard for. I can almost hear my mom, “If you lie down with someone for a few minutes of pleasure, then be ready for the lifetime of responsibilities a child will bring.” She’s right and I was ready, but what can I do when the person who is actually carrying the child doesn’t want to? I can’t force her to keep it, nor would I.
Man, this is all just so much.
I realized I haven’t answered Elli when she says, “Benny? Did you hear me?”
“Yes. Sorry, Mrs. Elli,” I apologize. “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Are you okay?”
I shrug. “Physically, I’m sore from practice, but mentally, I’m a bit screwed.”
She pulls into the Bullies’ hockey team house, and as she puts the car in park, she looks over at me. “Do you need to talk about it?”
I do. But I can’t betray Cameron. “Can I ask you a favor?”
Her caring green gaze doesn’t leave mine. “Of course.”
“Can you change my flight to either Monday night or Tuesday?”
She draws her brows in. “I’m sure I can. Is everything okay?”
I don’t want to lie to her, but I also can’t tell her the truth. “I need to do something Monday that I didn’t know about before you booked the flight.”