Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 66193 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66193 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
“Indi!” Ford shouted again, but I ignored him, beelining it for my 4Runner.
I got behind the wheel and drove off with Roscoe chasing me, barking as if he knew his master didn’t want me to go.
FORD
* * *
Dammit.
Things were too new with Indi for me to know whether or not I just completely lost her or could fight my way back from this.
No, fuck that. I wouldn’t lose her. I would definitely fight for her. For us. I’d fight until she believed in me.
She’d given me an ultimatum. She didn’t say she was done completely. That part gave me a sliver of hope.
Still, the pain that lanced through my chest was almost as sharp as the pain of losing Buck. To think that yesterday I thought maybe I could have it all, and today, everything crashed and burned so catastrophically.
It had been wrong to keep all this from her. Indi was right—she deserved better. She must feel patronized and underestimated right now.
Fuck—maybe she felt that same rejection I’d served her with when she’d shown up in my bedroom years ago. Because I’d pretty much rejected her for my friendship with Buck. I could have had Indi that night, had the most incredible time with her, but Buck would have hated my fucking guts.
Looking back, we hadn’t been ready then. It would have been one time and nothing more because I couldn’t have stayed. The US government had been my employer. I couldn’t disobey orders and just quit. AWOL wasn’t an option. Deep down, I’d done the right thing.
But the price of that rejection had been solely Indi’s. She’d seen it as that. Being turned down because she wasn’t enough. I’d had to choose between her and the military with her brother.
I’d chosen the military.
Now? Now… I chose her and solely because the military had kicked me out. She was the only good thing that had come from the fucking double-cross. No. Not the only thing. I’d thought returning to Sparks was like being exiled. But it was a new life. A better life. With Indi.
So yeah, I chose her. Even if my name was cleared and I was invited back, this time, I wouldn’t go. I wouldn’t leave her again.
But I had. Because I technically hadn’t left. My head was still caught up on the fuck-all of Buck’s death. Of my discharge. AndI wouldn’t be free to belong to Indi outright, to give her everything that I was until I was cleared.
I ran a hand over the back of my neck, tugged on my hair that was getting too fucking long.
No. That wasn’t true. All I had to do was tell her what we were up to. Why the guys were here working for me and my security business not only for a post-military life—because we all wanted justice for Buck. She’d have let us do our SEAL, mountain man shit.
I should’ve given her everything.
While she’d literally gotten on her hands and knees for me, submitting in the most intimate of ways, I’d still held back.
I was a fucking asshole.
I pulled out my phone to text her. I’m your man. No more big-brothering. I’m sorry, Blue. Can we talk?
I stood there like a dumbass watching my phone and waiting for her to reply, but she didn’t.
Blowing out my breath, I trudged back to the greenhouse. I would need at least three more hours of chin-ups to keep me from running after her, busting down her door and pinning her to a wall until I figured out the right thing to say to make her forgive me.
But I knew that wasn’t what she needed at the moment. I had to give her space and time to cool off. I’d texted, and she hadn’t responded. I would try again in a few hours.
Fuck.
If she went into the wilderness without us getting this resolved, I was going to go apeshit.
Oh, the irony was so fucking sweet because this was exactly what I’d done to her. We argued and left her to go off to war nine years ago.
Payback was a fucking bitch.
With a curse, I jumped for the chin up bar and heaved my bodyweight up to get my head over it. One…two…three…
Fuck.
Chapter
Sixteen
INDI
* * *
I was less fuming and more hurt by the time I got home. I wasn’t sure if this was an all-out breakup moment for me and Ford, but it certainly seemed like a huge red flag.
I wasn’t going to date a guy who still treated me like a kid sister. I just wasn’t.
That one night all those years ago had destroyed us in so many ways. I’d been in love with Ford back then. I might have been bold enough to climb naked into his bed, but I wouldn’t have done that for any guy. His rejection had stung. No, it had destroyed me.