Total pages in book: 18
Estimated words: 18000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 90(@200wpm)___ 72(@250wpm)___ 60(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 18000 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 90(@200wpm)___ 72(@250wpm)___ 60(@300wpm)
"It's okay, boy. It's okay."
I bury my nails into the flesh of my palms, and I do it as hard as I can until a stream of endorphins rushes out to mask my pain---
"It's okay, it's okay."
But more importantly, this temporary feeling of lightheadedness is enough to deceive all the dogs into thinking that I really am okay.
My husband immediately reaches for me as I get to my feet. "Are you alright?"
Even when I'm not.
"I just need some air..."
"Of course."
He takes my hand while speaking, but as much as I want to draw comfort from the firmness of his grip---
I'm already lost in the past, my mind consumed by all the times I was forced by my father to join him and his men when they were in a mood to drink and celebrate.
I can feel my husband leading me out to the garden, but I don't see or hear what's going on around me.
It's as if I'm back on the island, and my father and his men are swapping stories about the women they've raped, and...
God, oh God.
I just knew I could've been one of those stories, too---
If not for God---
My husband's gaze narrows at my face. "Eden?"
And the man He's chosen for me.
"Thank you," I choke out. "Thank you for saving me---"
"There was no way I'd simply stand by and do nothing when I realized what your father intended," he rejects flatly. "The moment I found out about your father's plans...that was it. That was the turning point for me."
"But you really don't owe me anything---"
"You risked everything to save me. Do you think I don't know that?"
"But it was his fault you were there in the first place."
"Esattamente." Exactly. "It was his fault, not yours---" My husband raises his hand when he sees me about to speak again. "In any case...saving you is not the only reason I married you."
My heart grows numb as I read between the lines.
He thinks I've another purpose to serve because he still believes I'm his father's daughter.
But what will he do if he realizes he's been lied to?
"Why are you crying?"
He's already wiping my tears away with his thumb when I become aware of what's happening.
"Nothing we've talked about changes anything," he says quietly. "I am and will always be on your side. There is nothing I won't do to keep you safe."
I can see now that he means it.
But for how long will those words be true?
Will he still be on my side even when he realizes how worthless I am?
"I can feel you trembling," he bites out. "But I won't know how to help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. What are you still afraid of?"
You.
Because it's true.
And I'm not just afraid.
But terrified.
Of him throwing me away.
"Talk to me, Eden," he urges.
I want to, oh, how I want to.
But there are no words to change my reality.
"Is it because you still don't trust me?"
I shake my head.
"Then talk to me. Please."
It breaks my heart to hear him say this, but it's also when I hear this that I realize...
What's true yesterday and today doesn't have to stay true.
And that's when I hear myself say, "I'm just not used to having...rules."
Tomorrow can still change.
His forehead creases. "Explain."
All I have to figure out is how to make myself useful.
"This marriage...and me...as a wife..."
His expression turns grim again, and I feel sick to my stomach.
Oh no.
Have I already pushed things too far without even meaning to?
Have my words made him realize that our marriage means I'm to be a permanent part of his life, and he's starting to think he's made a mistake?
"You are neither my captive nor my slave, Eden. There are no rules---"
"But don't I have things to do as your wife?" I interrupt helplessly. "Surely, there are things you expect me to do..."
And maybe, if I do them well enough---
"I can't believe you're asking me what I think you're asking."
"Yes, I really am."
He won't mind keeping me as his wife even after finding out I'm not who he thinks he is.
"In case I haven't made it clear to you," he says heavily, "you are under no obligation---"
"I know." And the fact that he has no expectations of me at all is what worries me the most. "But I'm asking this because I want...to." My voice trails off in uncertainty with the way he suddenly stiffens at my words. Did I say something wrong again?
"If you are only saying that because you think it's what I want to hear---"
"I swear it's the truth. It has nothing to do with being obliged. I want---mmph."
My whole world stops spinning as my husband suddenly cups my face and covers my mouth with his.
Is this...really...happening?
He pulls me even closer as his kiss deepens, and I have my answer the moment his tongue strokes gently against mine.