Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 73928 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73928 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 370(@200wpm)___ 296(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
I didn’t plan to kill them, I just wanted to make them stop. I didn’t murder them in cold blood. I wanted them to think I was crazy, I thought if they thought that, then they’d leave me alone. The plan was to just make them sleep for a while. I wanted them to think I could do it any time I wanted.
I crushed up a ton of sleeping pills using my friend’s grinder and mixed it into the gravy at dinner. Mum was working late and when she worked late, my brother did things to me and my dad didn’t care.
I used too many sleeping pills and neither of them woke up.
At first, I ran, but eventually I was found and was absolved of all charges. Still, Mum didn’t want me back and my foster families were terrified of me. I ended up on the streets and felt so guilty for the deaths I caused I promised to use my life to do better.
Maddox knows this about me. He was the first person I ever told and he was the first person who didn’t judge me for it, or fear me, he simply held me.
I chose to put my trust in the right person, until his father. Maybe all of this pain is still part of my penance.
This pain is my punishment. I’ll never be allowed happiness. I don’t even deserve it.
Sargent
“What’s that?” Maddox asks, pointing at the white bandage on my chest. “You okay?”
“New ink,” I reply, chewing on a piece of jerky.
“Can I see?”
I shake my head. “Needs to heal a bit first. I’ll show you tomorrow.”
“Whatever.” He taps away on his phone and sighs. “Tempest is leaving early in the morning. Are you coming to see her off?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to.”
He rolls his eyes. “Scared you’ll cry?”
“I’m over it,” I lie. I’m not over it. Not in the slightest. I can’t say goodbye because watching her go will destroy me.
“You love her,” Maddox states simply, grinning at me again. “I don’t know how you don’t know it, but you do.”
“I don’t love her, Maddox. Christ, she’s half my age.”
“Age is but a number when you got wicked chemistry.”
“Suddenly you want me and Tempest together?”
He smiles genuinely. “I want you both to be happy and you make each other happy. Who cares about anything else?”
“I don’t love her.”
“Prove it.”
“I will, by not seeing her off.”
“That’s just cruel.”
I shrug, wincing when my tattoo gives a sting of protest. “It doesn’t matter how either of us feel. We want completely different things.”
“So?”
“So?” I question his question with the same question.
“You love her, she loves you, everything else will fall into place.”
“You’re as naïve as she is.”
He laughs loudly. “Probably. What would you have done if she were pregnant?”
“I would have done the right thing and married her.”
He rolls his eyes again. “You’re an idiot and you’re missing out. She’s going to come back with another man on this trip and forget all about you. He’s going to be younger, better looking, more adventurous…”
“Maddox,” I warn, not needing the visuals of her with another man.
“But you’re over her so you don’t care.”
“She’s leaving in the morning, like you said. She can do as she pleases.”
“Why are you being so stubborn?”
“Because I want her to be fucking happy!” I yell, slamming my hand on the counter between us. “Enough, Maddox. She’s better off without me and you know it. We’re too different and those differences will drive her to fucking depression and resentment like your mother.”
“Whoa,” he murmurs and blinks at me, astounded I just said how I’m really feeling. “It’s not your fault Mom is the way she is. She’s a bitch, she was like that before you came along. As for Tempest being miserable? She already is. The only time I’ve ever seen her truly let herself be happy is with you. That day on the beach… I’ve never heard her laugh like that before. Never seen her smile like that. She thinks a life of unhappiness is her penance for her past.”
I hate that she feels that way and wonder why I never just asked her about her past. I guess I was worried if I brought it up it would bring her mood down. Tempest always seemed so at peace with me, so relaxed. I got the feeling she didn’t get that often so I let her have it.
“Drop it, Maddox.”
“Go to Africa with her. It’s only for two months. I can handle things here.”
“No.”
“Dad…”
“I said no. Let her find happiness with somebody that can keep it long term. I’m a fleeting love for her. A stepping stone. She deserves so much more.”
He blows out a breath and throws his hands up. “I tried. You’re being a fucking moron.” Then he leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.