Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 135604 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 135604 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 678(@200wpm)___ 542(@250wpm)___ 452(@300wpm)
I look up then, lips parting, my breaths coming out short and quick.
“It’s not about you and him. Not in those interviews,” Brian continued, holding my gaze. “Jamie’s told you how he feels. That’s what matters to him. You knowin’. Your friends, your family, the people you care about. All of us. Christ, we all sure as fuck know. His family. Mine. Everybody in his life, babe. He’s never been quiet about it. And to the people that matter, he never fuckin’ will be. You just gotta decide if that’s enough for you.”
A dull pain shot through my chest.
It was enough. I was never Jamie’s secret. All of the people we cared about knew. Everyone in my life and in his. Jamie’s family, he’d told them all about me. His sister and his brother. He claimed me to them before I was even allowing myself to admit I wanted this as much as he did. They mattered. And Brian and Syd, my family, they were who mattered and God, I was so, so stupid.
I blinked several times as tears filled my eyes.
“He knows you were hurtin’, babe,” Brian shared, keeping his voice gentle now. “He wasn’t gettin’ it at the time, but you women gotta give us a break. We can be pretty fuckin’ stupid when it comes to you.”
A laugh bubbled in my throat. I brought my fingers to my lips.
“You gotta know, this is killing him. He’s hurtin’, too. I probably wouldn’t be stepping in if it wasn’t for him not placing, but Jamie’s always had my back. Always will. Never need to ask him to have it, he just does. He’s a good man, Tori.”
“I know that,” I whispered, letting my hand skim my throat as my tears started to fall.
He was the best man. The best. And he was mine. I had him.
“I messed up, Brian,” I whispered. “I … I shouldn’t have left him. I shouldn’t have blown up like that.”
“Yeah, well …” Brian drew his arms across his chest again. “His ass shouldn’t have let you leave. And he should’ve been comin’ over here already, but he’s stubborn as shit. Swear to God, he’s fuckin’ miserable, though. I can’t take it.”
I didn’t want Jamie miserable. I couldn’t even imagine it. He was always smiling. Whenever I saw him, he was sweet dimples and mischief behind the smuggest, most perfect grin I’d ever seen.
And I was woman enough to admit when enough was enough. We were both at fault in this. I didn’t need him to come to me. He always came to me. Maybe it was my turn …
“Is he home right now? Or is he at the shop?” My voice raced with a nervous energy. I pressed the torn pages against my chest and stepped closer, nearly begging, “Do you know where is?”
Brian’s mouth lifted in the corner after hearing me, which I thought was a little strange but I didn’t have a chance to tell him that.
“It’s Sunday. Where do you think he is?” Brian asked, shoulders lifting casually. Then the other half of his mouth curled up and he gave me that before turning around and stepping outside. The door shut behind him.
I blinked, sniffled, and wiped at my face.
It was Sunday. Sunday was family dinner. I knew that. And Jamie never missed one of those, not unless he was away and Brian would have told me if he was.
My stomach tensed and warmed all over. My skin tingled. I was so close to making this right. To getting my guy back. I couldn’t help it, I smiled. My first smile in nine days.
I knew it. We weren’t going to make it to ten.
Realizing where I was headed, I folded those torn pages back up, set them on the table Jamie had replaced for me, and immediately got to work in the kitchen.
Never in my life would I ever show up to family dinner without a dish.
* * *
Using my elbow since my hands were full, I rang the doorbell at Brian and Syd’s place and stood on the porch, waiting. The November air cooled my cheeks.
I needed that. I was nervous. Freaking out, if I was being honest. My smile was long gone. I had no idea how Jamie was going to receive me. But that didn’t mean I hadn’t done everything in my power to appear ready for this.
I was completely dolled up, wearing full makeup, my hair curled more than usual and styled in a twist so it was half pulled back, and one of my cutest outfits—an oversized cable knit sweater, leggings, which weren’t cute but I knew how Jamie felt about them, and my brown knee-high boots that had a substantial heel.
I never dressed this fancy coming over here. It was Sunday dinner. We were all just hanging out. I’d even wear my uniform sometimes if I was coming straight from work.