Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 86102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86102 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
“You’re a good son. And a good brother.” Voice certain, he grabbed my hand right back. “But you’re worthy of having your own life too.”
“Yeah.” I exhaled hard, trying to make myself believe it as much as he seemed to. “You showed me that. Made me want more from life. More camping. More dinners for two. More walking. Less living for others. Everyone says I give such good advice to others. Maybe it’s time I took more of my own wisdom.”
“You make me want things too,” he whispered. “Things I didn’t think I’d ever want again.”
“Same. And I’m in this, and I want you here with me, not eying the exits.” If I was mad about anything, it was how easily Quinn had been willing to give up on us. I wanted him willing to fight for us.
“I’m not. I don’t want out. But you were right about me being scared. Trust is hard. Trusting you to choose me, that’s hard.”
My heart clenched for every time in Quinn’s life that someone had chosen something other than him. I wanted to be the one to show him another path. “I will choose you, Quinn. Over and over. Trust me to be your Daddy in all the ways and give me a chance to show you.”
Thirty-Five
Quinn
Taking a deep breath, I took a step backward so I could look at Adam, really look at him. He continued to hold my rock in one hand, cradling it carefully in his fingers, almost like it was my real heart. And his expression was serious with a set jaw, firm mouth, cautious eyes.
I could trust him. I knew this, but finding the words was still difficult.
“I don’t want to need a Daddy.”
“Bu—” He opened his mouth, but I held up a hand.
“Yet I do. I need you.” I still probably wasn’t explaining this the best. I needed him like I needed long walks and coffee and fantasy novels. Not water or food for survival, but absolutely essential to my happiness and well-being. And I had a lot of big feelings around that realization. “Part of me wants to be all independent and strong—”
“You are. You’re probably the strongest person I know, Quinn. And I don’t mean only the doctor stuff. You’ve got an iron core. But I still like when you lean on me, and I don’t see that as weakness.”
“I don’t anymore either. You’ve made it safe to bend.” That was more what I meant. He made it safe to be not strong every single second. To want this. “Lean on you, like you said.”
“It goes both ways. I suck at asking for help or admitting when I’m not feeling well. You take care of me too.” After tucking my rock in his pocket, he pulled me back to him.
“I like that. And I’m a lot more comfortable now with wanting—needing—the kink in my life. And you. I need you. That’s what I’m trying to say. It’s big and scary, needing you this much.”
“I know.” He kissed my head as a tremor ran through us both. The shiver made me sink more into him, let him hold me, and it felt so good to be back in his arms. “I can’t promise we’ll never disagree again, but I can do better at listening. Trying to work things out for both of us.”
“A team.” I’d been thinking about that ever since the clinic. I could trust my patients to work with me. I needed to extend that same trust to Adam, but it went both ways.
“Exactly. That’s what Darren said to Ramona. That he wanted to be a team. A partnership. And that’s what I want too. I want to be a team.”
“Darren’s back?” My voice chilled. Maybe this wasn’t about me as much as him not having to worry so much about Ramona.
“Yeah. He proposed. She said yes. And before you go thinking that’s the only reason I’m here, it’s not.” Adam made me look at him again, cupping my face. “I was working my way toward an apology all day. Darren coming back is great for Ramona, but I still need to make changes for myself. Regardless of what’s happening for her. Or you, for that matter.”
“Oh?”
“I don’t mean discounting your opinion.” He kissed the top of my head. “I mean, even if you don’t want to give us a chance, I still need to bring my life into better balance for my health.”
“I do want to give us a chance. Fears and all.” I snuggled in against him, wrapping my arms tightly around him. The nightly coastal wind whipped along the beach, but he was warm and solid and everything I hadn’t let myself want. “Be patient with me?”
“Always. And I need patience too. I don’t have all the answers. But I want to find them together.”