Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 93140 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 466(@200wpm)___ 373(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93140 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 466(@200wpm)___ 373(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
He smiled when he saw me, lifted the goggles to rest on top of his head, and held up three fingers with Band-Aids. “Mousetraps,” he said.
My brows drew together. “You have mice?”
“Not that I’m aware of. But I used the little old wooden traps to make floorboards for the bedrooms and the hinges to attach the coffin doors. Leo set one up with cheese while we were working last week to see if he could catch a mouse. I picked it up this morning. Cheese is still there.” He wiggled his fingers. “Now some of my skin is, too.”
I chuckled. “Gotta be more careful, Pops. Grams is already worried about you using power tools. Cut off a finger, and you’ll come back from the hospital with an empty workshop.”
Pops muttered, “She worries like a rocking chair. Gives her something to do, but it never gets her anywhere.”
I walked over to the creepy dollhouse and checked out the new pieces he’d made this week. There were tiny wood-framed mirrors with scary faces painted in them, a few hanging ghosts, and a fireplace carved with an ornate, angry wolf’s head. Picking up the fireplace, I admired the workmanship that had gone into it. Pops was truly gifted.
“So what’s new?” I asked as I set the fireplace back down in the dollhouse.
“Nothing. And that’s exactly how I like it at my age. Every time I get something new, it’s a pill, a pain, or prostate exam I don’t enjoy.” He looked over at me and set down his tool and the wood he’d been sanding. Under his woodworking table were two stools. He pulled one out and slid it over to me before taking a seat on the other.
“Have a seat. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
“How do you know something’s bothering me?”
Pops lifted his chin and pointed to my pants. “Your hands are shoved in your pockets. Always a dead giveaway with you. Remember the time you cut off your sister’s ponytail while she was sleeping because she left your bike outside and it got stolen?”
I laughed. It never ceased to amaze me how far back he could remember, even in stage one of dementia, yet sometimes he forgot the simplest things right after he heard them.
“I remember. Someone found the bike the next day and returned it, but Mom didn’t let me ride it again for months.”
“You had your hands in your pockets that day. Probably because you also had her damn ponytail shoved in there. You have done it every time you were worried about something since.”
I wasn’t so sure he was right, yet I made a conscious choice to remove my hands from my pockets before I sat down.
I sighed. “Am I a selfish person?”
Pops frowned. “You mean because you hold the reins at work and boss around your sisters?”
That hadn’t been what I was referring to, but thanks, Pops. I shook my head. “I met a woman.”
Pops nodded. “The looker? Charlize?”
I chuckled. “Yeah, that’s her.”
“Good choice. She seems like a woman who won’t put up with your shit.” Pops wagged a finger at me. “That’s the key to a happy marriage. Marry a woman who scares you a little, one who makes you think what the hell is she doing with a jackass like me? Then spend the rest of your life trying to live up to what you think she deserves.”
Pops had a lot of wisdom, and I knew he was right, but I wasn’t asking the question I really wanted answered. So I took a deep breath and spit out what was really bothering me.
“It’s new. But I really like her…and…she wants kids.”
Pops held my eyes as so many unspoken words passed between us. He didn’t need any more of an explanation about why that was an issue for me.
His face saddened, but he nodded. “So you think you’re selfish for not wanting kids.”
I nodded.
“You’re not selfish, son. You just don’t know how to deny someone you love anything. That’s an admirable quality in a man. Your situation is different than a man who doesn’t want children because he likes his lifestyle. I could see how that might seem somewhat selfish, though it’s still a person’s choice. It’s their life. But you…it’s not about that. I’d guess that down deep you even want to have children, that your reasons are more of a protective nature—for a future child, and maybe even a little for yourself.”
I felt a heavy weight on my chest and looked down. “I don’t know about that, Pops.”
When I looked back up, he caught my gaze. “Do you trust me?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then trust me when I say you’re not selfish. That’s not what this is about.” Pops sighed. “Have you spoken to your lady about your reasons?”
I shook my head.
“Well, that’s where you need to start. If nothing else, at least she’ll understand your position better.”