Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
I didn’t know how to react to that. I hadn’t thought about the destination of this relationship because the ride had just begun. Tomorrow might be my last day. Tonight might be Theo’s.
When I didn’t say anything, he continued on. “He wasted your time and your youth. I don’t want to do the same.”
My eyes narrowed on his face. “It’s not the same at all.”
“I just want to be honest with you. You deserve all the information up front so you can make the best decisions for yourself.”
The last week had been a fairy tale. An intense, erotic fairy tale. And now it was starting to slip away. “I appreciate your honesty, Theo. I know I never have to doubt your integrity.” For a man who made a living as a criminal, he was morally superior to everyone else. “Can I ask why you feel that way?”
He stared at me across the table, arms still crossed over his chest.
I wasn’t sure if that was a quiet brush-off or a pause.
“I simply have no desire.”
I gave a quiet nod in understanding. “I think that’s pretty common for a bachelor. And the circumstances of your marriage didn’t permit you to consider a long-term future. Most people don’t want to have kids just to have them. It usually happens when they’re with someone for a long time, and they think about things differently. So, I think it’s reasonable for you to feel that way.”
His dark eyes were like rocks, inanimate and lifeless, impossible to read. “But you know you want children.”
“Well, I didn’t feel that way until after I was married. At least a year into it.”
“But he’s gone, and you still want them.”
“I don’t want them right this second,” I said. “But I know I’ll feel that way again once I get settled with someone…preferably you.” I was tired of hiding my heart underneath my clothes. I wanted to wear it on my sleeve, let him watch it beat and bleed.
He had no reaction to my honesty.
“I’m just saying it’s reasonable that you feel that way.” I’d never met a man who was enthusiastic about children. Some said they were open to it, but they weren’t leading the charge with a torch in hand. Theo wasn’t that different in that regard.
“Sweetheart.” He said the endearment with a different tone than usual. “There’s a high probability that I’m not going to feel differently about it, regardless of what happens between us.”
I meet the man of my dreams—and of course he has a flaw. A big-ass flaw I couldn’t ignore. “But you’re open to feeling differently about it.”
He hadn’t moved since the conversation began. Hadn’t even blinked. “You know who I am. You know what I do. Do I look like the father type to you?”
I stared.
He stared back.
“I’m the Skull King, sweetheart. I push drugs on the streets and across borders. I kill anyone who gets in my way. My body count is bigger than the notches on my belt. I can’t see myself dropping my kid off at school in the morning after doing deals throughout the night. I don’t want to lose you, but I care too much for you to lie to keep you.”
How did he break my heart and make it melt at the same time?
“Make the decision that’s best for you. Because there are an infinite number of guys out there who would be happy to give you what I can’t.”
“I don’t want anyone else.” I let the words out when I shouldn’t. Let my heart beat on my sleeve. Put cards on the table when there wasn’t a pot to win. I just did it because…I couldn’t hide it anymore. “Theo…” There were no words for the depth of my emotion, nothing that could describe how much he meant to me without using the specific words that would scare him away. “I don’t care what our future looks like, as long as I’m with you.” I could live without kids, but I couldn’t live without him. Maybe I would love someone else someday, but it would never compare to the way I felt for Theo. This was the man who put his life on the line for mine, always put me before himself, who looked me in the eye and told me the truth, even when it hurt. “I’m willing to consider not having children…if you’re willing to consider having them.”
His eyes remained on mine like he was listening to me even when I stopped speaking. Unlike most men who seemed only somewhat interested in conversation, he was always present, always attentive, even in his silence. He didn’t add a lot to the conversation, but he made his enthusiasm known in that dark stare. “That’s fair.”
I wanted to inhale a deep breath in relief, but I bottled it inside. We’d moved past the trying stage and into the serious stage without even realizing it, because there would be no need to talk about kids if there wasn’t a chance it would go somewhere. Theo didn’t share his feelings directly, but he showed them by having this conversation with me.