Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 107262 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107262 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 536(@200wpm)___ 429(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
He talks for a moment, promising to come home with chocolate cake, something that Claire urgently needs, apparently, and then hangs up. “Sorry,” he says, but the smile on his face says he didn’t mind the quick check-in with his wife.
“That’s nothing to apologize for,” Ollie says. “Money is good, but family? That’s important.”
“I don’t know, Ollie,” Austin says. He’s as much an avowed bachelor as I am, and a man who’s also seen his fair share of pain. He’s never shared with me all the details, but I’ve seen that familiar haunted look in his eyes that sometimes reflects in my own. “Family love doesn’t pay the bills.”
“Bills?” Ollie echoes, shaking his head and tutting Austin gently. “Austin, each of us in this room has more than enough money to never have to work a day in our lives again if we want. I could liquidate my assets right now and put them in a general, low-interest money market account, and my family wouldn’t have to work for generations. I am literally rich enough to buy an entire country. Maybe not a big one, but still, an entire country. And each of you is close to the same. Am I right?” He doesn’t wait for our agreement, knowing the answer. “But I’d trade it all, every last penny, if the choice was that or my family. They’re irreplaceable.”
Everyone is reflecting on what Ollie just said when Teddy speaks up again, his voice almost contemplative. “‘There comes a time, thief, when the jewels cease to sparkle, when the gold loses its luster, when the throne room becomes a prison, and all that is left is a father's love for his child.’”
“What’s that from?” I ask, unsuccessfully trying to place what is obviously a verbatim quote, and Teddy chuckles.
“Conan the Barbarian. Pretty good film. But that’s stuck with me ever since Claire became pregnant.”
Before we can give him too much shit about becoming sappy as hell, Ollie interjects. “I hope and pray that each of you gentlemen understands that someday. Truly.”
It’s kind of hard to argue against that degree of genuine sentimentality, and we fall quiet. Our game’s temporarily forgotten, and I think about how much has changed. It used to be that I would never have thought like this. It wasn’t even an option. I was going to take over the world. He who gets to the top first, while amassing the biggest pile of money, wins. That was it, the entirety of the game plan. But now…
Do I need the whole world?
What would Raven think of my home? Or of my friends, even?
What would she think of an oversized television, premium leather couch, or custom-made bed with Egyptian cotton sheets?
Would she see the sacrifices I’ve made to obtain all of this? Or would she see it the same way Austin jokes about my aircraft carrier model, a shallow, if not futile, attempt to make up for a hard childhood?
Would she be impressed by the trappings of wealth I’ve surrounded myself with as a shield to protect myself from my past? Or not give a damn as long as she got me in the deal?
And isn’t that the biggest question of all? Am I enough, or am I simply a means to an end for her?
I don’t know.
I don’t think she’s using me. She’s too naïve, too innocent in her goals for that, but the damage done to my heart doesn’t let outsiders in easily. I might have feelings for Raven, ones that go well beyond my desire for her body and appreciation of her mind, but only time will tell what it means. I don’t know what I want from her, but I know I want more of her. I’m not exactly sure what all I’m willing to give in return, though.
We play a few more hands, but my mood has shifted. I want to see Raven. Fuck, I feel like I need to see her, if for no other reason than to confirm that she’s still mine.
It’s wishful thinking, well beneath my analytical mind, but the foolish desire is there nonetheless, flitting about inside my warped heart.
It’s nearly an hour later when my phone vibrates in my pocket. “Just a minute, gentlemen,” I say, standing up and picking up my glass. “I need a refresher. Anyone else?”
I go over to my bar and open up my phone.
There’s a message from Raven. Thank you for this weekend. Mom loved the hotel.
I’m glad. Are you staying with her tonight?
I need to know where she is, not because I have any claim on her, but so my mind will rest easier as I try to sleep later. It will be a futile attempt, but at least this will be one less concern on my heavy mind.
No, she’s leaving early in the morning and wanted a good night’s sleep. I’m at home.