Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 34052 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 170(@200wpm)___ 136(@250wpm)___ 114(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 34052 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 170(@200wpm)___ 136(@250wpm)___ 114(@300wpm)
I think back to what Melissa has told me over and over. I need to maintain independence in case anything ever happens to Daddy. I’m pretty sure she meant death, but maybe she could have also meant that he could get tired of me and leave me.
“Hey there, Baby girl. What’s wrong?”
Daddy’s voice yanks me out of my head. I blink at him, wondering how he knew I was awake. And then I realize tears are running down my cheeks. I’m crying. Judging by my blurry vision and runny nose, I bet I wasn’t quiet about it. I must have been sobbing out loud. Great. I’m being even needier.
Except Daddy doesn’t look mad or frustrated. In fact, he lifts me up, cradles me tight, and carries me to the rocking chair. He settles in it, rocking us, rubbing my back, kissing my temple over and over. “Let it all out, princess. Whatever it is. Let it out. Then you can tell Daddy about it.”
No way can I tell him what I’m crying about. That just makes me cry harder.
Daddy rocks me for a long time. He doesn’t rush me. He continues to rub my back, occasionally pausing to help me blow my nose. There’s a growing pile of tissues on the floor next to us by the time I manage to suck back the last sobs.
“I love you, Josie,” he says, hugging me tight. “Can you talk about what made you cry?”
I shake my head. No way can I talk about it. I can’t even think about it. I can’t even sort it out in my brain. I’m so confused because he’s taking such good care of me, and yet he’s also been distant, and I’m worried about my neediness. But I can’t talk about it.
I feel him swallow against me. I know he wants me to talk. He deserves that from me, but I can’t. Not yet. I don’t know when. Maybe when we go back home, things will go back to normal? Maybe I can finally take Chase to see Melissa, and she can help me work on my independence so Daddy won’t have to work so hard to take care of me.
I did this. I was too needy. And now he’s… I don’t know what he is.
“How about if we spend a quiet afternoon and evening here in the cabin? We can color together or do a puzzle or play a game. How’s that sound?” He tips my head back.
“That sounds fun, but if you have other things you need to do, I can play in my playpen.”
He frowns. “What other things would I need to do? We’re on vacation. We’re here to have fun together.”
I shrug.
His frown deepens. “You’ve heard me on the phone with my boss, haven’t you, Baby girl?”
I nod slowly.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spend time talking to my boss while we’re here. Have you overheard my conversations?” He looks worried.
I shake my head. “Just your voice,” I promise him. “I know your job is important. It’s okay if you have to take care of things.”
“Nothing in the world is more important than you, princess. Never. I’ve just had a few things I needed to deal with. I promise it’s almost worked out.”
“Okay. Well, if you need to work, I can play alone.” I’ll do anything to be less needy. I can’t lose him. I should have listened to Melissa. Why didn’t I?
“The only thing I need to do for the rest of the day is play with my Little girl.” He kisses my forehead. “If you can’t choose from my suggestions, we’ll just have to do all the things,” he teases as he tickles me under my arm.
I giggle. He’s trying to make me feel better, and it works. For now.
Daddy stands and carries me from the room. “Let’s get you a bottle and open a puzzle. I’ll strap you into the highchair so you won’t accidentally fall, and we’ll set up the puzzle on the kitchen table. How’s that sound?”
I smile. “That sounds fun, Daddy.”
Chapter Twelve
When I wake the next morning, I’m in Daddy’s arms as usual. I know he’s already awake because his fingers are stroking my arm lightly. His lips are near my shoulder, and as soon as I move, he kisses me there. “Good morning, Baby girl.”
I turn to face him and take a deep breath. I need to make changes and be brave. I need to be independent sometimes. “If you need to talk to your boss or get some work done today, I’ll be super quiet and good. I could even make you breakfast if you want.”
He narrows his gaze at me. “Where is this coming from, Josie? You’ve been saying some really funny things ever since you woke up from your nap crying yesterday. I wish you would tell me what the tears were about. I’m concerned.”