Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 35479 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 177(@200wpm)___ 142(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 35479 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 177(@200wpm)___ 142(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
Except he wasn’t, was he? He didn’t have any right to be angry. They were nothing to each other.
“Are you okay?” Christian said, looking at him with a frown.
“I’m fine.”
“Shawn—”
“I’m fucking fine!” Shawn inhaled deeply and said, softer, “Sorry. I’m fine.”
* * *
Shawn returned home early, dismissed the babysitter, sat on the couch and watched the twins play.
Their dresses were worn out and too small for them. They needed new clothes.
He closed his eyes and thought of how much that would cost. Christmas wasn’t far away, and Christmas was expensive, so he needed to save money. New clothes for the girls would have to wait until he found a better job.
Shawn sighed, rubbing his face. Yeah. That was what he needed to focus on. No more distractions. The kids depended on him.
The couch dipped as the girls suddenly climbed onto it.
“You’re sad,” Bee said.
“We don’t like when you’re sad,” Emily said.
Shawn smiled brightly and wrapped his arms around them, pulling them close. They were warm and smelled of soap and sweets. Of innocence.
“No,” he said. “Of course I’m not sad.”
“When is Mr. Rutledge coming back?” Emily asked once again, her blue eyes wide and glistening with tears. “He promised me a puppy! With a white star on its forehead.”
Bee sucked on her thumb. “Yeah, when is he coming back?”
Shawn’s heart clenched. At that moment, he hated Derek Rutledge more than anything. The girls had no one but Shawn; of course they’d become attached to Derek, since he had been practically living with them for the last couple of weeks.
Shawn smiled, but it felt like a grimace. “It doesn’t look like he’s coming back, sweetheart.”
Emily’s brows furrowed. “Why?”
How was he supposed to answer that?
Shawn averted his gaze. “Because he has his own family. And it seems his dad asked him to marry.” At least that was the only explanation he could think of. “He’s going to start a family now.”
“Why?” Emily said.
Bee’s lower lip trembled. “Why?”
Shawn looked between them and didn’t know what to say.
“I don’t know, baby,” he murmured, pressing his lips to Bee’s temple and pulling Emily closer. “I don’t know.”
Chapter 22
Shawn woke up in the middle of the night, shivering.
He burrowed deeper under the covers. The room was cold and damp, as usual, but it was harder to ignore after weeks of sharing body heat with another person. He missed being warm.
Shawn sighed, turned onto his stomach and hugged his pillow, angry with himself. This was getting out of hand. Enough. Fuck Rutledge and fuck his stupid warm body. Fuck him.
But no matter what he told himself, the ache in his stomach was still there. The hunger. The need that went beyond sex. He wanted Rutledge’s body next to him, big and warm. He even wanted to hear his scathing remarks, feel his breath against his skin—
Shawn tensed and lifted his head. He could have sworn he heard voices coming from the living room. But the girls couldn’t possibly be awake, right?
Frowning, Shawn climbed out of bed, shivering violently as the cold air hit his skin, and padded towards the door. There was light in the living room, but it meant nothing: he had left the lamp on, since the twins were scared of the dark.
Shawn opened the door quietly and froze.
Rutledge was sitting on the floor beside the girls’ bed, one of the twins in his lap.
Shawn’s heart started to thud in his chest.
He was back.
He was back.
“Where were you?” his sister said, rubbing her eyes sleepily with one hand while the other played with Rutledge’s tie. It was Bee, Shawn decided. Rutledge seemed to have a bit of a soft spot for Bee, though it was strange that Rutledge was tolerating this even from Bee.
That was, until Shawn studied Rutledge’s face. Even in the dim light of the lamp, his face looked uncharacteristically unguarded and tired.
“I was visiting my family,” Rutledge murmured.
Bee sucked on her thumb. “I remember your family. Your dad didn’t like us very much.”
A strange look crossed Rutledge’s face. He said nothing.
“Shawn said you’re getting a new family.”
Rutledge stiffened visibly. “Did he?”
Bee nodded. “He was very sad.”
Shawn felt himself flush. Did she have to tell him that?
Rutledge had an odd expression on his face. “Was he?” he murmured.
“I was sad, too,” Bee said. “I don’t understand. Why do you want a new family? You have us.”
Kids, Shawn thought, biting his lip. They had no fear. In some ways, kids were braver than adults.
Rutledge opened his mouth and then closed it. It was the first time Shawn had seen him at a loss for words. Rutledge’s throat convulsed before he told Bee, “Don’t worry, I won’t be getting a new family.”
Shawn breathed out.
“Aren’t you supposed to be asleep, midget?”
Bee studied Rutledge seriously with her big blue eyes. “You’re sad, too. Something bad happened?”
A humorless smile twisted Rutledge’s lips. “You could say that.”