Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 46699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Jared looked at the young man seated next him. Oscar smiled. Jared managed an answering smile. When he’d met Oscar two months ago, it was supposed to be just a one-night stand, one of many.
Jared grimaced at the thought. At the time, he’d been willing to fuck every good-looking guy who came on to him. He’d wanted to prove to himself he could still get it up. He’d wanted to prove to himself he could move on. He’d wanted to prove he wasn’t the dull-eyed man he saw in the mirror.
But one night had turned into two, then three, then a week, and on and on, and Jared found he liked Oscar. He was handsome, but he was also nice and down-to-earth. Compared to Gabriel’s temper and demanding attitude, Oscar was a saint. Oscar was kind and uncomplicated. Oscar was everything Gabriel wasn’t. Oscar was everything Jared wanted in a boyfriend. And Oscar wanted him.
“…Jared? Jared!”
Jared flinched. Right. Oscar. “What?”
Oscar’s gray eyes were full of confusion. “What’s up with you? You weren’t listening.”
“I was,” Jared said. “I…”
Gabriel wasn’t in his seat anymore. He was by the door that led to the bedrooms. He caught Jared’s gaze before disappearing out of sight.
Jared hesitated, torn between common sense and the desire to go after him.
Goddammit. It was a lost battle.
He muttered some excuse and followed Gabriel out of the room, feeling Alexander’s disapproving look on his back.
Gabriel was waiting for him in one of the guest rooms, his arms crossed over his chest. There was an odd expression on his face: a mix of determination and something else.
“You said you have no place in my life because I can’t give you what you want,” Gabriel said without preamble. “What if I can?”
“What?”
Gabriel lifted his chin. “What if I can? What if… what if I let you kiss me whenever you want?”
Jared stared at him. “You can’t be serious. I don’t need your pity.”
“It has nothing to do with pity. I think it’s pretty fair: I give you something you want, and you give me something I want.”
Jared chuckled, shaking his head. “Shit, you’re actually serious.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I can’t fucking believe you.”
“Why?” Gabriel’s voice was calm and rational, as though Jared was the one spouting ridiculous things. “Just think about it and it will make perfect sense.” His expression softened. “You know how much you mean to me. It won’t gross me out if you kiss me sometimes. If it means I get to keep you, I’ll do it happily.”
“That’s—that’s fucking crazy.”
Gabriel looked as stubborn as ever. “It’s not. I like when you touch me. I wouldn’t be grossed out.”
Jared let out a harsh laugh. “And you think it’d be enough for me? That you wouldn’t be grossed out? That you would stoically endure it? Really, Gabe?”
A myriad of emotions flickered across Gabriel’s face until they settled into one clear expression of determination.
Gabriel walked toward him.
“Don’t,” Jared managed before Gabriel grabbed his face, rose on his toes and pressed their lips together.
Jared was stronger and bigger than him. He could easily push him away.
And yet, he couldn’t.
Gabriel’s lips were very soft and plump—and Gabriel’s. His Gabriel’s. Jared couldn’t resist. Couldn’t fight himself. His lips moved. It was a stolen moment, something fucked up and hopeless, but all the years of watching and yearning had stripped away his control and he poured everything into the kiss. Everything he couldn’t say and everything he felt.
Gabriel didn’t kiss back. He was completely still, just allowing it, and rage swept through Jared, a rage unlike anything he’d ever experienced before. Jared hardened the kiss to the point of bruising. He pried Gabriel’s lips open and thrust his tongue inside the warm, wet cavern of his mouth, the kiss becoming obscene and dirty. He wanted to shock him. He wanted to hurt him. He wanted to repulse him.
But Gabriel didn’t push him away. He took it all, trusting him.
And that made him stop.
Jared wrenched his lips away and leaned his forehead against Gabriel’s, breathing raggedly. Damn you.
He felt Gabriel touch his hair and then cup his face gently.
Jared pulled back to look at him.
Gabriel’s face was flushed, his expression a little bewildered, but he didn’t look disgusted. He wet his lips. “Did you like it?”
Jared started laughing. He slid to the floor, rested his head in his hands and laughed, and laughed, and laughed. It was an awful sound, as if his throat had been cut, but he couldn’t stop. He felt empty. Disillusioned. He didn’t know what he’d expected. He certainly hadn’t expected that Gabriel would suddenly realize he was gay after one kiss, but…
But maybe he had. A fool. A fucking fool.
Gabriel sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. “Jay—I’m sorry.”
Jared said nothing.
Gabriel leaned his cheek against Jared’s shoulder. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice tight with emotion.