Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 58952 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 295(@200wpm)___ 236(@250wpm)___ 197(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58952 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 295(@200wpm)___ 236(@250wpm)___ 197(@300wpm)
She scooted closer on the bench, until she was right next to his side, then looped her arm through his and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You were just a kid, Chase.”
He nodded, surprised by just how good her comfort felt when he was so used to suppressing his emotions. “I know, but that’s what seven-year-olds do. They internalize everything, and I was really good about burying all my anger and pain and that sense of abandonment I felt not just from my mother, but my father, too.”
“How so?” she asked quietly.
He scrubbed a hand along his clenched jaw, forcing himself to relax, which wasn’t easy when those old memories reminded him of how bad and emotionally damaging things had been. “You’d think my father would see a divorce as a way to start out fresh and new, but instead he fell into a deep, dark depression, to the point that everything in his life fell apart because he couldn’t stop feeling sorry for himself. He started drinking, and ignored me for the most part. He lost his job and after unemployment ran out, instead of looking for a new job he went on welfare and did nothing but stay home, drink, and watch TV. How fucking lazy and irresponsible is that?” He couldn’t hold back the bitterness that seeped into his voice.
“I can’t imagine how difficult that had to be for you,” she said empathetically.
He huffed out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, since my father was basically useless, I grew up pretty damn quick, starting at the age of seven. If I wanted to eat, I had to scrounge through the cupboards for food and make my own meals, and his, too, or else he’d just drink beer for dinner. If I needed new clothes, I had to beg my father for a few dollars so I could buy pants and T-shirts and shoes at Goodwill. I did the laundry and the cleaning and made sure I was up in the morning for school, because my father was usually passed out from the night before. And when I was old enough, I took on a paper route and mowed neighbors’ lawns to make extra money to pay for household things.”
“So, you took care of your father, and got nothing in return.”
“Yeah, pretty much. I was the parent from the age of seven until I left for college at eighteen.” He leaned back against the bench, and as he watched all the families enjoying the beautiful fall day with their kids at the park, he felt a pang of envy for what he’d missed out on. “The thing is, I wouldn’t have cared about any of that if my father had just tried to be a better person who didn’t wallow in self-pity.”
Lauren cleared her throat and paused for a moment before speaking, as if unsure how he’d react to her next comment. But true to her dauntless personality, it didn’t stop her from bringing up another painful topic. “Billie didn’t give me details, but she did mention that you didn’t even know about her until a few years ago, when your father was dying.”
“Yeah, that was a shocking little surprise my dad sprang on me a few days before he passed away of kidney failure,” he said, his tone gruff. “When my mother left us, my father knew she was pregnant with another man’s kid, and for some reason he wanted to clear his conscience before he died by letting me know I had a half-sibling. So, when he was gone, I hired an investigator to track down my mother and get me whatever details he could on my half-sibling. I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do with the information. I was mostly pissed at the entire situation and never really thought I’d ever contact my mother or my brother or sister… until I read the investigative report and found out what happened to Billie.”
He pressed his lips into a grim line, remembering how horrified he’d been to learn what his sister had been through. “My mother is just another shining example of a self-centered, inadequate parent. Not just for abandoning me, but for staying with an asshole of a man who had a drug addiction and who would give up his own child to the system after Darlene died because he didn’t want to raise a child he didn’t want in the first place. Billie was only eight at the time and spent the rest of her childhood in foster care.”
Lauren gasped in shock, clearly not aware of those appalling details. “How could a parent do that to their child?”
Deeply rooted anger twisted inside him. “I honestly don’t know, but I made contact immediately with Billie, even though I knew she was doing well on her own, considering how she’d grown up. But despite everything, she’s my sister, someone who also was a victim of circumstances beyond her control, because of the shitty decisions and choices our mother made. I…” His voice cracked unexpectedly, and he swallowed back the sudden tightness in his throat. “I wanted Billie to know that she wasn’t alone in the world, because I knew what that loneliness felt like. That I cared about her and wanted to give her the kind of stability she grew up without. I wanted to be someone she could depend on, always.”