Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
I wanted to ask her to elaborate, to tell me exactly what she’d seen when she looked into his eyes. Because when I looked into them, I saw something I didn’t think I could live without. But the mental image of Layla jumping onto Kage’s back and trying to wrestle him to the ground had me chuckling a little. It was a pained sound without much life in it, but at least it was a laugh. Maybe I wasn’t going to die after all.
“You were gonna beat his ass, huh?” I teased.
“How can you laugh at a time like this?” she demanded, eyes lit with fury.
“Because it’s not as bad as you think.” I nudged her shoulder with my fist. “I mean, it is that bad, but not for the reasons you think.”
“Why don’t you tell me, then? Because you’re right about me not understanding. I definitely do not understand how you can be taking up for him.”
I sighed. “I mean that Kage… fucking me like that wasn’t the bad part. When I told you I asked for it, I didn’t mean figuratively. I didn’t mean that I blamed myself for what happened, or that I deserved it. I meant that I was literally begging him to fuck me.” I glanced at Layla, trying to see if I was freaking her out with my honesty. Logically, I wanted her to understand the situation, but I didn’t want her to see how badly I was affected on an emotional level. It was one thing to explain it in words, but it was another thing altogether to let her see how busted up I was inside.
Just thinking about how raw and needy I’d been with Kage made my stomach quiver. I wanted him again already. My ass was burning, and I was sore, but dammit I just wanted him. Layla was watching me closely, and she looked like she was going to be sick, but I couldn’t stop talking now. I needed her to understand.
“The bad part was that he left me,” I told her. “Not just for a day or two. He said he didn’t want to be with me anymore. All because I don’t know how to handle what’s been going on between us.” I had to look away and swallow around the giant lump in my throat. “What if he’s gone for good? I don’t know what I’m gonna do, you know?”
“What you’re gonna do?” She shot me a look of disbelief. “You’re gonna thank your lucky stars that he’s out of your life. That guy is violent, Jamie. He’s not stable. You don’t need that shit. Is it the job you’re worried about? You don’t have to settle for someone mistreating you just because you don’t want to lose your job. That’s called sexual harassment. You could totally sue his ass, especially if you go down to the hospital and report it. Let them do a rape kit on you.”
“Layla, it wasn’t rape. And it’s not the job.”
We were both quiet. After a tense moment, I broke the silence. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. Whining to my ex-girlfriend about how I’d just been humiliated by a dude was the last thing I wanted to be doing, but there was no way I could stop the flow of thoughts. For me, Kage was everything now. If I couldn’t be with him, I needed to talk about him.
“How do you get a guy back?” My voice sounded small, all efforts to put up a macho front buried beneath the pain.
“Really, Jamie? You’re asking me how to get a guy back?”
“I know,” I groaned. “Believe me, I am well aware of the irony here. Do you know how hard it is for me to even ask? I just don’t know what to do. It’s taking every ounce of self-control I’ve got— every bit of pride— not to go running after him, Layla. He doesn’t even want me anymore, and I’m sitting here trying to come with a way to get him back. God, I’m fucking weak.”
“Wow,” she breathed, looking up at the sky as a lone tear slipped from the corner of her eye. She dabbed at it with the tip of her pinky finger. “You barely even reacted when I broke up with you. Do you realize that? I told you I was talking to someone else, and you just blew it off. I thought you would at least get mad or jealous or something, but you didn’t. You were cold as ice. Now here you are, crying like a baby over this culero.”
“Please stop calling him that. I have no idea what culero means, but I know coming out of your mouth it can’t be good.”
She turned a sarcastic smile on me. “It means ass fucker, Jamie.” Her expression dared me to argue.