Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 84544 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84544 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
“The car…the car went off the road and flipped several times. We were all pinned. We had to be cut out. I couldn’t move…I couldn’t do anything.” Isidore turned his face into Kairo’s chest and his entire body trembled. “I listened to my parents slowly dying, and there was nothing I could do.”
Isidore shook and hot tears soaked into Kairo’s T-shirt while a hard lump formed in his throat. No. No. No. This was all wrong. Someone as sweet and kind as Isidore should never have suffered something like this. He tried to swallow while tightening his arms around him, wanting to become the wall that would shield him from all the pain of the outside world. Something like that shouldn’t happen to another person, but definitely not Isidore. He was sunshine and blue skies on a summer day. He was laughter and hope and love.
But this missing piece from Isidore’s background made so many other things click into place—starting with his overwhelming need to protect anyone and everyone. Especially his younger sister. He’d been there when his parents were mortally injured, and there had been nothing he could do. Isidore wasn’t about to allow anything to happen to his sister, his last remaining bit of family.
“I’m sorry,” Isidore whispered against his chest. “I’m sorry I’m always such a handful. A-a walking disaster. Even before the accident, I was always something of a mess, but I seem to be getting worse. If someone tries to get close, they quickly find out that I’m too much for them.”
“No,” Kairo snapped angrily. He wanted to personally strangle anyone who’d ever uttered those words to Isidore. He loosened his hold on Isidore only so that he could scoot lower on the bed, putting them eye to eye. Isidore attempted to edge away, but Kairo grabbed him, forcing their chests to touch. He tangled his legs up with Isidore’s long legs, making it nearly impossible to tell where one of them began and the other ended.
“You are not a handful or a disaster. You’re no more of a mess than the next person.” He cupped Isidore’s cheek with his left hand and brushed away the streak created by his tears. “If people can’t handle you, they don’t deserve you. I’m not going anywhere.”
Isidore squeezed his eyes shut and turned his face into Kairo’s palm, pressing harder into his touch. “The nightmare is always the same. A replay of that night. But…tonight was different.”
“What happened?”
“You were in the driver’s seat. And I couldn’t save you.” Isidore’s voice broke.
Kairo pulled him close. “Hold me. I’m alive and safe in bed with you, Isidore. I’m safe.”
Isidore wrapped his arms around Kairo and buried his head against his shoulder. He took a deep breath, but Kairo wasn’t sure if he was trying to calm himself or drag Kairo’s scent into his lungs. Maybe both.
They lay unmoving, wrapped up in each other. Kairo listened to Isidore’s breathing slow while the tension humming in his muscles eased so that his grip loosened. He closed his eyes, happy to fall asleep just like this. It wasn’t incredibly comfortable, and he was getting hot from their combined body heat, but his heart was happy and that outweighed all the other nonsense.
“Do you regret it now?” Isidore murmured into his chest after several minutes. Kairo almost jerked. He’d thought Isidore had drifted to sleep.
“Regret what?”
“Us kissing.”
A bark of surprised laughter jumped from his throat and he flopped onto his back. He grinned as he stared at the ceiling. “Why? Because you have a couple of personal issues? Are you going to regret kissing me after you find out that I have major daddy and mommy issues?”
“What?” Isidore gasped. He snuggled close again. He placed a hand on the center of Kairo’s chest and rested his chin on his hand. “What kind of issues?”
Kairo smirked at Isidore’s tone. He sounded both excitedly interested and pre-defensive, as if he were already prepared to jump to Kairo’s defense.
“My dad left my mom when I was only eight, and he wouldn’t take me with him. I found out a few years later that he immediately remarried and built a new family. He wouldn’t even recognize me as his son because I’m half American.”
Isidore instantly shoved into a sitting position, eyes wide and nostrils flared while his hair hung down in his face. “I normally wouldn’t say this about anyone’s parent, but that fucking bastard! He has no idea that he lost out on calling the very best person his son.”
His heart didn’t stand a chance where Isidore was concerned. The man was steadily taking apart all of his defenses and replacing them with joy.
“Is your mother just as bad?” Isidore cautiously asked, his face scrunching up with worry.
“No. Not as bad. We still talk. She just likes to remind me that she’s disappointed that I didn’t choose to work in academia like her.”