Total pages in book: 29
Estimated words: 27799 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 139(@200wpm)___ 111(@250wpm)___ 93(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 27799 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 139(@200wpm)___ 111(@250wpm)___ 93(@300wpm)
I stare at myself in the mirror and wipe the stupid tears from my eyes. It’s been a while since I cried. I think the last time was when I sold the jewelry my grandma left me. Even though she demanded I do it, it was still emotional.
In her will, it stated what she left for me, but no one else got to see the letter she wrote me. It was hard to let the pieces go, but she wanted me to be free and knew that money could give me a new start if I wanted.
Rejection should come easy to me. My grandma was the only one in my family that I connected with, and it was probably because she was a bit of a black sheep too.
In my parents’ eyes I chose to be poor and useless. Those are the words they used to describe me. I'd grown up with money. Not a ton but enough that in our town everyone knew who my family was. Our family name held weight. One no one thought I could ever live up to.
I just didn’t fall in line. My parents hated that they couldn’t control me and make me bend to their will. That’s what led to my parents pretty much casting me out. I know they did it to try to scare me. I’m sure they thought I’d come crawling back. Then I lost the one person who understood me. Everything in my hometown felt irrelevant to me then. I didn’t care if they wanted me. I knew it was only a matter of time.
My grandma left me whatever she could claim as her own. She’d married into the Newman last name. Most things were accounted for in trusts or locked down tight. Unfortunately, I was very familiar with the inner workings of my family. I grew up watching my mother follow every command in order to stay in that world. It only made me want to get out more.
I felt so caged in. I think they wanted me out anyway. It was way too easy for them to open the door and let me go free. Of course, no one wants to feel as though their whole life is being controlled, but you do want someone that wants to keep you.
I wouldn’t agree to any of the men they tried to marry me off to like it was two hundred years ago. My parents thought if they arranged a marriage for me that I’d eventually fall in line. With each suitor I turned down, they started to believe I didn’t want a family. They couldn’t have been more wrong. That’s what I want more than anything. I might be traveling the world, but unfortunately, I do it alone. My social media following has grown like crazy, but that doesn’t fill the loneliness I hide behind my smiles when I pose for a picture.
I was always an outsider with my family. Even when I was little. It didn’t help that I had two older sisters that my parents deemed perfect. I bet they’d be Finn’s type.
Knowing I can’t hide in the bathroom forever, I wash my face and try to calm my puffy eyes, not wanting Finn to know I cried. I don’t think he meant to be cruel, but his words had sparked memories of my childhood. The small smirks my sisters would get when they could push me to tears. They took pleasure in causing me pain.
Finn isn’t being mean, only honest, and I can’t fault him for that. That doesn’t stop the hurt, but I will try to hide it. I don’t want to guilt him. Then he’ll pity me.
I take a deep breath before I finally step back out of the bathroom. Thankfully, he’s not right there in the bedroom. I grab clothes and dart right back into the bathroom and get dressed for the day. I’m going to give him an out, and it will be easier if I’m dressed and ready to leave right after. Then it won’t be awkward… or more awkward than it already is.
When I’m finally ready, I exit the bathroom with a smile on my face as if nothing is wrong. I definitely learned that trick from my mother. My eyes land on Finn when I enter the main space of our suite. Once again, there is a ton of food. I speak before he can.
“You don’t have to come with me today. I’m sure you have work things, and I’m used to being solo.”
“I want to go.” He stands, pulling out one of the dining room chairs for me. My manners get the best of me, and I sit down, not wanting to be rude. “We should eat first.”
“Right.” I grab a fork and dig in, trying to play it cool, but Finn watches me like a hawk. “Are you going to eat?” I say after a few minutes. I’m unable to stand the silence or staring. Why stare at me if I’m not his type?