Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 98538 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 493(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98538 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 493(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
CHAPTER SEVEN
Tenleigh
The tears started before I’d even taken three steps out of the school. The sudden blast of cold was like a slap to my face. It felt like the physical version of what I’d just experienced emotionally, in front of most of the student body and a good number of parents too—humiliation and deep, deep shame. I ran faster, the wind hitting my skin like razor blades, my feet slipping on the icy road.
“Tenleigh!” I heard called behind me. Kyland. Stupid Kyland who had sat two seats away from me in the dark theater as a girl fondled him under her jacket. And I had no right to be filled with hot, painful jealousy. And yet I had been. He hadn’t even wanted to kiss me. He’d made that blatantly clear by pushing me away, and yet seeing him with another girl sent hurt ratcheting down my spine. I’d wanted to cry and throttle her…or him, or both, I wasn’t even sure. And I had no right—I was no one to him. All my life I was just a nothing, a nobody. And it hurt so badly.
“Go away, Kyland!” I screamed back at him, hiccupping and picking up speed.
“Tenleigh, stop! You’re going to hurt yourself. Stop!”
“What do you care?” I yelled, still running, slipping and jutting my arms to the side, righting myself before I went down.
“Tenleigh!” I heard him gaining on me and so I picked up some snow and turned around and threw it at him, letting out a small sob. I was being an immature child—I knew it. And yet it didn’t seem that I had anything to lose. The snowball hit him in the shoulder and I turned and kept running, my steps clunky and ungraceful in the snow.
“Jesus, Tenleigh!” Kyland yelled. I turned around and picked up more snow and started hurling it at him over and over as he ducked and swore but kept coming toward me. I turned around again and ran. I got about three steps and my feet went out from under me, sending me sprawling into a snowbank to my right where I lay sobbing, staring up at the clear winter sky as fat snowflakes fell on my face. I felt utterly desolate and utterly alone.
I registered Kyland’s footsteps quickly approaching and then I was scooped up, his warm arms around me, lifting me out of the snow as I continued to cry, the fight in me gone. “Shh, I’ve got you,” I heard in Kyland’s smooth, masculine voice. “You’re okay. You’re okay, Tenleigh. I’ve got you.”
“I don’t want you to have me.”
He sighed. “Well. I do. I do. I’ve got you.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, shivering, trying to press myself closer into his warmth, his soothing words.
He carried me a little ways and then sat down and held me to him as I cried more tears from a seemingly never-ending reservoir of pain. He was murmuring something against the top of my head that I didn’t compute, words of comfort. And although I didn’t process them, they soothed me all the same. And I needed that so badly, just to be soothed. To be held. To matter to someone. Even for a moment.
I thought back to the looks on the faces around me as my mama was dragged down to the ground in her dingy, see-through dress. I squeezed my eyes shut. It had to be one of the worst hurts in the entire world—being embarrassed by someone who was meant to protect you, not humiliate you. And yet I still loved her so much.
After a little bit, my tears stopped, but I didn’t lift my head. Kyland kept gripping me tightly, and when I finally looked around, I saw that we were sitting in the doorway of a closed hairdressing shop—protected from the weather by the small overhang above the door. We sat together, breathing, still shivering slightly, Kyland’s arms around me as I gripped his coat in my fists and took comfort in his closeness.
“Kyland,” I finally murmured.
“Yes, Tenleigh?”
“I’m sorry I threw snow at you,” I whispered.
“It’s okay. I deserved it… Tenleigh, I’m sorry for tonight. With Shelly…it…” He sounded unsure of what to say.
I released a defeated sigh. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. You made it clear that we’re not anything to each other.” I glanced up at him and he was running his tongue thoughtfully over his bottom lip, a small frown creasing his brow. I didn’t blame him for not wanting to kiss me. Who would want to kiss the daughter of the town crazy? Who would want to attach himself to a girl like me? The thing I heard kids sometimes whispering at school was true—I was nothing but trailer trash. He might be poor too, but his parents didn’t humiliate him in public. In fact, his father and his brother died heroically, working hard to provide for their family. My own father had taken one look at me and hit the road. A tremor ran through me as much from the cold as from thoughts of him. I pushed them away. I desperately needed to lighten the mood, or I’d break.