Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 58521 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 293(@200wpm)___ 234(@250wpm)___ 195(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58521 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 293(@200wpm)___ 234(@250wpm)___ 195(@300wpm)
I chuckled at the absurdity of the fact. “It’s sick.”
“Poisonous,” she agreed. “But it’s who we are.”
Having this conversation with Jasmine felt like chains had been released. Admitting our situation and yet not condemning it felt good. I could easily be talking with a woman who’d be sitting here lecturing me on how I was a grown man, and I could do whatever I want. That I didn’t have to please my father, and I didn’t have to be part of any Order. She could shame me. Jasmine could speak the truths only for me to feel trapped and unable to break free. But instead…
She understood.
Not only did she understand, but she lived it herself. There was a bond forming between us. A bond that might be impossible to break. This conversation, the acts we’d already committed, and the fact that our heritage was intertwined in so many ways may connect us for the rest of our lives.
“I’ve never told anyone this,” she admitted. “I was brought up to never discuss money… or the lack of it.” She smiled up at me, a sad smile. “Pretty on the outside at all times. Even if we are decaying inside.”
I smiled back. “It’s the Southern way, of course. Show those sparkly whites and never reveal the cracks.”
Her smile faded. “Except now… every man in that room has seen me. Really seen me.” I can see the haunting behind her words.
Her words are like a punch to the gut. I hate that anyone has seen her but me. A possessive urge to wrap her up in my arms and never allow anyone to come near her washed over me.
I reached for her chin and forced her to look me straight in the eyes. “I know you said you want to do the Trials, but I want to make sure this isn’t just your version of shaking hands and kissing babies. I need to know this is real. Is this really what you want? Are you sure you don’t want to leave? Generational decay or not, and regardless of how strong our family roots are, I will march us out of this house right now if you say so.”
Her eyes locked with mine. “I don’t need a Prince Charming to save me. What I need is a fierce warrior to fight by my side.”
“This is the last time I’ll ask. This is the last time I’ll say sorry for what they’re going to do to you and to us,” I informed. I tightened my hold on her chin so she could see just how serious I was. “If you truly want to continue on… then I’m releasing the shame. I have to or this will eat me alive. I’m going to focus on the end goal. And that is to win.”
“I want to win. I want this. I do.”
“Then to war we go,” I said. “And we’ll come out of this the victors. I promise you.” I leaned forward and kissed her lips. Chastely. “Let’s get you out of the bath and into bed. You’ve been through a lot and need your rest.” I reached for a towel and assisted her out of the tub. “We have a battle tomorrow. I need you in fighting shape.”
As I wrapped the towel tightly around Jasmine, she pressed her face to my chest and simply stood there in silence, allowing me to tighten my embrace around her. Finally, she looked up at me and said, “Will you just hold me tonight? I need one night of feeling safe. Then tomorrow I’ll put on my armor.”
15
JASMINE
After that second Trial, every morning at breakfast I was on pins and needles waiting for another box.
But… nothing. Just crumpets and eggs hollandaise and bacon and grits and pancakes and scones, everything delicious. Except I had no appetite for any of it, I was so anxious for what would come next.
Except nothing did, day after day all that week.
Then there were the endless days spent in the room. Eventually Walker and I started going for long walks just to get outside, because those four walls started to feel like a prison. I started wondering, was this itself the Trial? Were they trying to see how crazy we’d go, if they just caged us up there long enough, endlessly anticipating what next torture they’d cook up?
But we were allowed outside, Walker told me after a couple days where I felt like I was about to climb the walls. I almost snapped his arm off, yanking him out of the room. Because one of the rules that had been made very clear to me was that I couldn’t go anywhere without Walker at my side. Not to breakfast. Not downstairs. I was surprised they let me go to the bathroom without his say so.
But whatever. This place was a boy’s club. That was the whole point, wasn’t it? So he could become one of the bastards in a silver cloak.