Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 80045 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80045 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
“About what?” he asks, shifting his hands on my hips and my back to dip me slightly and bring me back to him.
“About marriage,” I answer. “In the beginning, it’d been innocent enough, just a boyfriend sharing dreams for the future, but just like with everything else, it got more intense at the end. And I began questioning why I wasn't eager to spend the rest of my life with someone that I’d been with for years. I literally used to have panic attacks whenever he’d take me to fancy restaurants because I thought he was going to propose.” I sigh. “After I realized that, I knew I couldn't stay with him. How could I? Not only was he controlling, always commenting on what I wore or ate, but he was selfish in so many other areas. I feel like an idiot for staying as long as I did, but I had nothing else to compare it to. And who would want to spend the rest of their life with someone who never took care of them, in any regard?” I shake my head, flashing Lawson an apologetic look. “Sorry, that was a ramble.”
“Never apologize for saying what's on your mind,” he says. “I love hearing what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours.” He moves us, shifting easily from one song to the next. “I hope this isn't crossing a line,” he says, and my heart rate spikes. “But you mentioned something similar at the event a couple weeks ago. When you say he never took care of you, are you talking about all areas of the relationship?”
My lips part, a gasp rattling past them. I can tell from the way he’s looking at me what exactly he’s asking. I had brought it up at the event but hadn’t been too blunt about it. The shy part of me begs not to answer him, but the independent and hopeful part of me that trusts Lawson is the one that answers. “Yeah, even in the bedroom.”
“Seriously?”
“Well, to be fair, I'm not as experienced as you are. Brian is all I've ever known. So, I guess I can't really say that he didn't take care of me. But when comparing it to the times I’m alone, with myself, there is no comparison.”
A muscle in Lawson's jaw flexes, and he stills on the dance floor for a few seconds before returning to the motions. “That's a fucking shame,” he says. “You deserve to be taken care of.”
“I don't know about that,” I say, shrugging.
Lawson draws me closer, his hands splaying on my lower back as he presses our hips together. “You do,” he says. “You really fucking do.”
“What, you want to be the one to take care of me?” I tease, trying to get us back to that playful ground.
“If you let me,” he says. “I would take care of you right now.”
“Here?” The question bubbles out of me, shock making me almost immobile against him.
There’s no joking anywhere on his features. He's dead serious. “Right now, damsel. You say the word, and I'll take the edge off for you.”
Heat blazes across my skin, and my heart races against my chest. “That wouldn't be fair to you,” I say. “That would make me like all the other girls that use you for your... skills.”
Lawson moves us again on the dance floor, smiling down at me. “You’re nothing like that, Blakely. You wouldn't be using me. You'd be letting me take care of you because I want to.”
“And what would be in it for you? It's not like you want a relationship. And you know I don't either.”
“It would be a male pride thing,” he says. “Being the one to finally show you how amazing letting go can be.”
“I'm your skate coach, we shouldn't—”
“Shouldn't,” he says. “Not can't. And if you want to go down that line of thinking, we shouldn't really have played that inappropriate game of Cards against Humanity together, either.”
He has me there, and if I’m being quite honest, he has me already.
It’s the logical, worried side of my brain that’s trying to get me to reconsider, but the part of me that desperately wants more of him, even if it’s just kissing, is begging me to comply. To accept his more than generous offer.
And who knows, maybe he’s bluffing. Maybe he’s doing that thing where he wants to make me squirm just because he enjoys the show. And maybe—
“Relax, damsel,” he says, cutting into my thoughts. “I’m not going to toss you over my shoulder right here and haul you into a private room. Unless you ask me to.” He smirks. “You don't have to overthink my offer. I know there's a huge amount of trust involved, and if you're not there with me yet, that's fine. I'm completely content working to earn your trust.”