Total pages in book: 38
Estimated words: 34955 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 175(@200wpm)___ 140(@250wpm)___ 117(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 34955 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 175(@200wpm)___ 140(@250wpm)___ 117(@300wpm)
Capri,
Finding the right words is difficult. Explaining to you why, how, it all seems like an impossible task. One that I can’t give you that you will understand. The truth is simple. It isn’t easy. It leaves pain and devastation in its wake.
I am in love with Maelee. I fought against it. Tried not to feel anything. But it happened anyway. People will talk. No doubt Maelee will be blamed. A temptress that Satan sent to destroy me. If that makes your mother feel better, then perhaps that is best. However, the truth is I married your mother too young. I wasn’t a man yet who knew life. That had lived. I’d never had sex with a woman. I’d believed it was a sin before marriage. She had been my first real girlfriend. It was young love. First love.
I didn’t know real love until the day I held you in my arms. You were something I’d give my life for, something I’d sacrifice for. And I did. I lived every day focused on the Lord, following His word, and being the husband and father He said I was to be. While you were growing up, you became a focus for us. We both loved you and could share that love.
But you grew up. No longer needed us. You were the beautiful woman that we had successfully raised. You knew your own mind. You were living your life. And we were growing further and further apart because the love we had once felt for each other had long ago faded. It hadn’t been strong enough to withstand the changes that occurred as we became adults—faced life.
Maelee began helping in the church pantry, handling office work that became too much, and organizing different events. We were around each other more and more. I was drawn to her. She filled an emptiness inside me I had grown so accustomed to that I was unaware it was there. When she was with me, I saw things brighter. I smiled more. She made me laugh. I felt like a man reborn.
I am sorry.
Not because I fell in love with Maelee. But because I let it go on so long. I should have admitted it, told your mother, stepped down from the position at church, and left town years ago.
In time, I hope you can forgive me. I love you. I am always available for you. If you need me, I will be there.
Dad
My hands gripped the paper tightly, and I saw it tremble. How did I let my mother read this? It would only break her more than it already had. Reading that the man you’d promised forever to hadn’t loved her since before I was born. Another roll of my stomach, I closed my eyes, then folded the paper back, not wanting to look at her.
“You’re not going to tell me then?” she asked.
Opening my eyes, I looked at her. “I don’t think I can.” She needed honesty. She’d lived the majority of her life being lied to. He was right about me not understanding him, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to forgive him.
He had given into lust. A younger woman who had always shown off her abundant cleavage and wore shorts and skirts a touch too short. Maelee had been known in high school as the cheerleader who would give head in the locker room before a game. Rumor was she even let three players shoot their load all over her face once at the same time. I hadn’t cared what people said about her or paid attention to the gossip.
Until now.
“What? Is he telling you he loves her?” she asked, anger laced in her words.
I nodded. “Yes.”
She rolled her eyes. “He loves her alright. He loves that she does dirty things. But he’s old. She won’t stay with him. She liked his power, but now he isn’t the minister anymore. He isn’t important.”
This was all very true. My dad may think he loved her, but it was very likely that she wasn’t in love with him but his title. Time would only tell.
“I won’t take him back. I can’t. I was willing to even after,” she swallowed her hands, gripping the cup as she paled. “Even after I heard him telling her how tight her… her asshole was.” She shook her head. “God, he was taking her in the butt. Who lets a man do that?”
That was way more information than I needed. My eyes swung to Esther, whose pinched face looked like a mixture of disgust and uncertainty. She looked at me a moment—an unspoken conversation going on with our eyes only. We had done this kind of thing since we were kids. Right now, she was thinking exactly what I was, that Maelee was a slut that would leave my dad soon enough. Now, the excitement was over.