Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 58342 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58342 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
I glance at my phone screen, hoping to see a text from Linc. Nothing.
We’ve texted a few times and had one awkward phone conversation because my mom could hear me talking to him and I was guarded. He’s been traveling with his team since.
“Are you okay?” Genevieve asks me, her tone laced with concern.
“Hmm?” I tuck my phone back into my bag. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Are you, though? You just don’t seem like yourself.”
I shrug and sigh. “It’s harder than I thought it would be to get back into my old routine. I don’t know if my meds are built up enough in my system to be effective yet.”
When the doctor in Seattle put me back on my anxiety medication, I nearly cried with relief. I was managing my anxiety as well as I could with meditation and deep breathing, but it was still there. I know the medication is at least helping me because I don’t feel as on edge as I did when I first got home.
I’m still not the same, though. I keep waiting to wake up one morning and feel exactly like I did before Alaska—excited about the workday ahead, thinking about my plans for the weekend.
It’s Friday, and I’ll be spending this weekend alone in my apartment. All the friends who have reached out to me since I got back just want to talk about the plane crash and the cabin. I understand their curiosity, but they ask questions I don’t feel ready to answer.
“How can I help?” Genevieve asks.
I smile softly. “I don’t know. Just listen when I need it, I guess. I appreciate you asking.”
“Let’s hang out this weekend. We’ll do whatever you feel like.”
I think about it for a few seconds. “Yoga might be nice. And maybe breakfast after at that place with the huge pastries.”
“That sounds like a plan.”
“My mom is flying back on Sunday to bring Karma home.”
“Oh, Karma.” She puts her palm to her chest. “How much have you missed her?”
“I can’t wait to see her. She’s my snuggle buddy.”
An intern knocks on the office door and then opens it, her gaze going straight to me when she walks in. She wasn’t working here before the plane crash, and she stares at me like I’m a sideshow oddity.
“Miss Lorenzo, you have several phone messages.” She passes me the slips of paper.
“Do we not do phone messages over email anymore?”
“Oh, sorry. I thought you didn’t have an email address anymore.”
I nod. “You’re right, my fault. Thanks for these.”
The IT department shut down my email address after my memorial service. Linc and I weren’t declared legally dead, which would have created a ton of red tape to undo. Dalton said the rescue team wanted to wait until the snow thawed and then resume searching for our bodies.
“It’s pretty morbid being presumed dead,” I murmur when the intern is gone.
“I can’t even imagine.” Genevieve gives me a sympathetic look.
I rub my temple, fighting the urge to check my phone again for a text from Linc. As difficult as it is, I have to find a way to get back in my old groove.
“Can you go over the financial presentation from last month’s board meeting for me?”
Genevieve grins widely. “Financials, my favorite! I thought you were going to want to do something boring, like cut out of here for chips, queso and margaritas.” She shivers. “I’d much rather talk profit-and-loss statements.”
I shake my head, smiling. “What if we multitask and you tell me about it over the queso and margaritas?”
She lights up. “Done!”
We make our way out of the office, my coworkers not so covertly staring at me as we walk by their cubicles.
“Can I help you with something?” Genevieve snaps at a woman whose mouth is hanging open as she watches me.
The woman quickly turns away and resumes her paperwork.
“Idiots,” my friend mutters.
She puts her arm through mine and gives me a reassuring smile. What would I do without her? I already miss Linc so much; it’s all I can do not to break down and cry in my office. It’s going to take time for me to find normalcy again, and it won’t be the routine I’ve come to crave with Linc.
Maybe it’ll never be like it was before. Maybe I’m different now, and I’ll have to find a brand-new normal for myself. I hadn’t gone a day without serums, cleansers, moisturizers and cosmetics in years when I ended up stranded without access to any of them. I felt naked at first, like my bare skin wasn’t really me anymore.
And while I’ve loved every second of my hot showers with foaming soap and the thick, rich moisturizer I apply since getting home, I had to force myself to put on makeup before I came to the office today.
The things that are important to me have changed. Unfortunately, something that’s become deeply important to me is a tall, dark-haired hockey player who lives in another state.